NoJoMo 11

It’s the little things…I will get to that, momentarily.

For those who read my last entry, regarding the color of poinsettia flowers…They are actually, yellow. Yes, that teeny, tiny spurt of yellow in the middle of all that color, that is the actual flower. The color itself, the reds, and whites, and even the scary blue one I seen online (seriously, it looked quite unnatural!)…Those are bracts, not petals. Bracts being modified leaves. In fact, if you compare that colored part to the green leaves of the plant, you will see how much they look alike. This is on of those things I learned in Plant biology years ago, along with the fact that there is no such thing as vegetables. [Yeah, that class ruined my brain but good. *laughs*]

I’m still be stalked by peacocks. O.o
Which, yeah…I have done some research, and I’m going to be taking a closer look at the information I have, but I think I know at least part of the reason.
I know how important connecting with spirituality is to making myself feel better…Yet, I tend to slip, a lot. I let myself get overwhelmed by, well, everything, and let some things slide.
I know I shouldn’t do this…And hopefully I can find ways to stop doing this. It’s not like I haven’t been trying to keep connected, just the method I’ve been trying to use isn’t working.

Sebastian’s tank has a water filter, which runs constantly. It’s not a horrible noise once you get use to it. In fact, it’s kind of like a mini-waterfall, or a small broke dribbling along.
One night, shortly after we got her, I decided to use it to try and do a journey. In the process, I think I sort of dozed off for a moment, but then I felt this huge ‘drop’…And I realized I wasn’t sleeping, but I wasn’t fully in the here and now. It had worked! My visualization skills are lacking, at least in some places, and everything is in shadows, black and grey, and hard to make out…So I didn’t catch everything that was flying and crawling and scampering around. I did see my coyote, who was working as my guide. *huggles coyote* *grins* 
Some kind of bird flew over, but being in shadows as it were, it’s hard to tell if it was a black colored bird, or yeah. *shrugs* It could have been any number of birds. Heart wants to tell me it was a raven or crow, but I don’t know if that’s just me wanting to be connected to such, or if it’s really that they are there. [Considering roleplaying Raven for so long…*shrugs*]
And there was…*shudders*…the unmistakable form of the spider that passed by. Ug…I know, I know…But they are soooooo ugly! & creepy…& icky! [Thing is…I also know that I didn’t always feel this way. When I was younger I use to actually play with them! I don’t know when things changed, when I went from playing with them to fearing them. I wish I knew…It would be nice to know what changed.]

On to the little things…I was contemplating this entry while I was in the bathroom, putting my contacts in, asking the annoying bug on my wall by the tub why he was there, and telling him he was lucky he wasn’t a spider. On the way back out to the living room, I have to go through my bedroom, and there was my coyote hide. I stopped, turned back around, and gave my coyote a kiss on it’s nose. A feeling of serenity? Something…A nice warm fuzzy feeling anyway, just spread throughout me. So yeah…It’s the little things.

Am feeling a bit, ‘blah’ about giving up on NaNoWriMo.
Writing is part of who I am…& I had really wanted to do it. I did it once, and have wanted to do it again ever since. *sigh* 
I just know that, how things stand, there is no way I can get all the words out. Maybe one of the summer ones…I don’t know…