I’m not suppose to feel like this…

I’m not suppose to be missing him like this…I wasn’t suppose to miss him as the plane was taking off…I wasn’t suppose to miss him before the plane took off…I wasn’t suppose to miss him before he even left…I"m just not suppose to feel like this.

We had to go outside to see the plane take off…They don’t have it set up where you can watch if from inside like you use to be able to do. We had to go stand along a fence that is around the runway. We were standing there before they even started to board…Mum was watching, and asked what color Grimmie’s bag was, and what color shirt he had on…So we got to see him actually board the plane.
Standing there waiting, the kids played in the rocks that lined the fence. As the plane started to taxi down the runway my Mum nudged me and pointed down at Sonja, who was clinging to the fence, starting to cry. She cried pretty good. [Truthfully, I’d been fighting not to.] I held on to her, still trying not to cry myself. The plane went down and turned around, and started to head off. As soon as it took off from the tarmack…Harley started to cry too.
Walking back to the car, Mum said something about  not knowing what we were going to do with the pair…then she said something about some pair, commenting that there were three of us. I was still fighting crying…have still been trying. Though I did sit on the bathroom floor and have a tiny bit of a cry. 
*shakes head* I don’t know what’s wrong with me…

Raya…I so need to talk to my sissy…*hugs tight*  We’ll see how well you managed to uncover the hints I left.

Anyway…
Mike called last night.
Gods…I really thought he’d just disappeared. It wasn’t too bad…as the phone started to beep low battery, and I got off the phone that way. He was mostly talking about his wife…soon to be ex-wife…and the whole mess going on with the child custody stuff.
He asked if I was still walking. Told him yeah. He said he has tried to drive down by Glen’s about the same time he figures we walk through there (stalker much?).  Told him I wasn’t going to be walking today because I had to take Grimmie to the airport. 
He said something about calling tonight…hopefully he’ll be too busy or something. If he was going to try and be a friend, and not push himself on me it would be one thing. But I don’t know if he can manage that.

I’m going to go for a bit…I need something to drink…and to try and sort out some thoughts.