How I feel about my Pizza Boy…

[Put this on MySpace, but I thought I’d put it here too. Since I’m here more anyway. *grins*]

First off I will admit my boy is not perfect,. He, as do all of us, has his flaws, but…That still doesn’t change how I feel about him.

I fought it at first, not wanting to risk putting my heart on the line again. Then tried to reason my way out of it, saying I couldn’t give a definite reasoning for my feelings, so it couldn’t be what I thought it was. Then I gave up trying to deny it, even if I wouldn’t quite understand the why of it.

I’ve come to realize, it’s not anyone particular, major thing…It’s a combination of a lot of little things that just make him him, and make me feel wonderful just to be around him.

There are moments, totally unexpected, that my heart just swells, and I say “this” is why. It’s things like this, and it’s not even him doing anything intentional, it’s just him being him.

A recent moment of great worry/fear, he was ready to take down the cause, even if it meant taking down a friend of his. This for someone that means a great deal to me, and isn’t even of his own blood. The fierce determination he showed just amazed me, and I thought my heart would just explode.

Admittedly, I don’t talk much, but I do answer when asked things…He’s asked me what I want to do, and why I’m in school, and he’s listened, paid attention. I know he’s paid attention, not because he was sitting there while I babbled on excitedly about something. I know because later, when he was talking to a friend of his, he told him that I was going to college, and that I want to be a writer…He almost sounded proud…Kind of like he was bragging, but in the good way, not the “I’m better than you” way.

I still get nervous when I’m where he is, butterflies in my stomach, and I can’t be near him. [I.E. I acted like a giddy school girl while having my hot wings Saturday, to the point that my Mum was picking on me! *laughs*]

When I’m getting ready to call him, my stomach twists in knots of anticipation and nerves. Will he be there? Will he answer? Will he be busy? Will/When will he call back?

He’s among the first thoughts I have upon waking up. He’s the last thought I have before I go to sleep. He’s on my mind so many time throughout the day that I couldn’t even begin to keep track. Just the thought of him makes me smile, makes me feel butterflies, makes my heart pound and my pulse race.

I can’t help it…I love him.