A bit more of an entry than yesterday…

*sigh*
I should be of the happies…And I am feeling betters…But…Gods…

If you are sensitive to emotionally charged movies…Do not watch Pursuit of Happyness. It’s a good movie, but strong in the emotions (and I found out after watching it, it’s based on a true story). Gods…I don’t think I could of made it through what the guy did. I would of lost my mind…Then again… *glances over at Harley* One finds strength and manages to do things they wouldn’t on their own when it comes to their kids.

Anyway…I nearly had a break down just watching it. I did end up snuggling as close as I could to Bill when it was over, just wanting to feel some kind of connection, and crying a bit. [What I really needed was to hold on to a Critter, as there was that whole parent/child emotional thing going on.]
But it seemed to do his mind some good…He felt needed…Like I was willing to let my guard down. Guess I did…To some point.

By the time I left, I just wanted to bawl my eyes out…And I’m not even sure why. There was something beyond the movie even. Even while it was playing…I was feeling not quite right.

Last night he asked me if I was ever going to be able to tell him I loved him. *sigh* I’ve wanted to, so often, so many times…It always seems like the wrong time…Or that it’s just not right. Which is what I told him, along with ‘It’s not that I don’t, I do…’ Or something along those lines.
Even with that, tonight I still couldn’t say it.

I can’t help but wonder, if it’s not in part at least, to the fact that the last person I said ‘I love you’ to caused me great pain. As I know I’m scared to say the words. Even though I know he loves me…As he’s told me so, and I know I can believe him.

I think part of it is the upcoming of school as well…I’m doubting myself on occasion…Whether or not I can really do this…Should I be doing this…etc.

Anyway…*looks around* Dang, I had a thought…Where did it go? *shrugs*

Got my parking sticker for school.
Seen bats today…They is cutes!

Still seems like I’m forgetting something…
*skips off*

Hamfruitcake

Pursuit of Happiness is supposed to be really good, but pooey for making you cry! I know, I guess it was in a good way but still… *huggles* *prods love* wouldnt know how to handle the situation so I cant give advice… *more huggles*

FIRST NOTE! YAY! *does first note dance*

Lost Biscuit

that film looks good, i do like will smith, and i am currently crying at lots of films lately heh… you and bill are happy, maybe you do love him and just don’t know it or something, but i suppose you do need to know it it kind of helps heh bats are cute 😛 xxx

/lots of hugs. aw hon. I dont know what to say about love.. love seems to slip through me.. Chris

I reeeeally want to watch the Pursuit of Happiness. I really do. I like the movies that have the power to change emotions in people and provoke new ones. the love thing…. Well I no nothing about love. But dont tell him you love him if you dont want to. He may love you but that doesnt mean you have to tell it to him back. It will be more special when you can say it for real.. Maltesers x

*hugs tightly* Though we already talked about this on the phone, know that I’m always here for you should any of it ever need to be brought up again, and you need someone to talk to. You know that’s part of my job, right? *smiles* *more hugs* You needn’t be afraid to talk to me about things… *beats on Death* Bill is a much better, sweeter, caring, loving guy than he is; the two of you together are simply adorable [You can tell him I said so, too.]. You know this, and you know how you feel about him. But. You have been hurt greatly by love; unfortunately, it happens. You will have to find the strength to move on from that experience and hold onto what you have now. *nods* Bats! I want to see the cute ickle bats again. About school, just breeeathe. *giggles* I have confidence in you. The first day is usually a bundle of nerves for most. You’ll adjust & do well. *nods* *looks around* I suppose that’s all. *lol* Again, though…please don’t feel afraid or hesitant in telling me things, whatever’s hurting or bothering you in any way. I want to be here for my sissy. *HUGS*

I want to see Pursuit of Happiness but thanks for the warning 🙂 Can’t say much about anything else going on as I’m newness and don’t know anything about any of the sorts but… *pokes to Raya’s note* she’s smart 🙂 on the school front… you’ll do fine! I’m always a bundle of nerves and wonder about if I’m making the right choice, every semester… since like elementary school lolask my mum… it’s quite funny sometimes, but once the first week or so is over, it mellows out and you’ll see you’re smart and can do it!!!

RYN: uh.. my high school was pretty small… and I did get lost! lol I was in ROTC and couldn’t find the drill hall. It was amusing. I thought I was going to get lost on campus too though when I was up there. Just pay attention to numbers and print out a map if you can, even if you know where everything is… or supposably know where everything is, just in case you misplace a building. lol

I know you care about me. *hugs tightly* *smiles* I suppose my main issue is insecurity. *nods* *gives them back* I really don’t need ’em; they don’t fit. *laughs* There’s no need for you to apologize for your worrying that night. I didn’t get upset at all that you expressed your concerns. I’m grateful to have such a caring & protective sister. *hugs* &…Yesh, moretimes of happiness, comfort, and trust with a boy would be nice. *nods* Sadly, ’tis a bit too late for the one who’s presently plagued my thoughts. *more hugs of the tightness* ~ Prongs