start of something new…

Wellll its been a long time… I have been sooo busy I haven’t even been on here to read my lovely friends diaries! (time for some catch up reading J )

 

soooo heres the update on me! Major things first…

I have been looking for a house for about five months. First of all, supposedly it is supposed to be a buyers market right now. That’s bull. Here’s a couple reasons why… one: I don’t have that high of a price range and lets just say that everything in my range is pretty much a piece of crap shack. Two: I have offered on 3

 

So all of these houses had been on the market a whole of about 3 days before some stupid ppl swoop in and say they will offer more than the listing price! Its bull crap. If it was really a “buyers market” the prices of the shacks would be a lot less and there would be a lot better houses on the market in my range and it wouldn’t be a freakin’ bidding war to get a house. UG!

So i just try not to get too upset because I know whatever house is meant to be will be. So a few weeks ago, one popped up. I went and looked at it and really liked it. So long story short, I offered, they accepted… so im in the process of getting my first house. Its pretty exciting. And scary. It’s a great little starter house.

 

Alright next topic…Me and douglas.. also unfortunaltely we are not doing too good right now. I don’t really want to explain everything in detail so in a gist… it has been going on for a while now. Ever since his problem started a couple yrs it has just been downhill since then. I tried really hard to make it work and to pretend like everythings ok but since last yr it has just been worse and finally to the point where I cant really ignore it. Especially since I feel like we are at an age where if you start down a path you’re kind of stuck down it. And I just thought, do I really want to be where im at… and the answer was no.

  

Last month we had a heart to heart which was really hard to do…him and I are both horrible about talking about our feelings. We both said things that were bothering us, etc. Things after that were a little better but I was still feeling like something was wrong. Finally a month ago I told him I wanted to take a break.

 

Right now we are basically broke up… noone really knows except my fam (not sure about his) & a couple of my friends (and him and I both would like to keep it that way for a while). I think everyone can tell. But noone has really mentioned it.

So lately I have been a mess (not like you could tell bc I keep things bottled up). It is really lonely not having a bf. I have noone to text in the morning, noone to talk to at lunch, and noone to talk to before bed. I have been playing xbox a lot. It keeps my mind off of everything. If I start thinking about it I start wondering if I did the right thing and then I think about how lonely I am etc.. I just don’t get why he can’t step up and be the person I started dating 5 yrs ago. I liked that guy. Caring, movtivated, loving, exciting. Now, he’s pretty much the opposite. And I can’t do it. Im a super sensitive person and need atten

tion probly more than a normal gf. But you know what, he knew that when he started dating me. He just can’t change. Its so upsetting. I do not want to date someone else. But I just can’t go on like this. So I had to end it. But im basically having trouble cutting it off tho. Bc if I cut it off with him, I cut it off with my other friends. They say it wont happen but they’re wrong. It will.

So yea been playing lots of xbox. Lately I have been craving to get a dog. The companionship would be amazing. But I can’t afford one right now. Hopefully soon though. J

A couple weekends ago my mom came over and we started cleaning my house. She spent the night and we almost finished cleaning (im messy lol). So that kept my mind busy for a while. Its been beautiful outside for a while and if felt great to be outside and have the windows open.

  

And speaking of nice outside… I had a vacation last week. Went to

Arizona with my parents. They had an extra timeshare week so they decided to use it to go stay at a resort there and since they have a house down there, they can do the yearly visit that’s required. I was really excited bc I have never been to AZ (that I can remember anyway) and it was great being in the sun. very relaxing. I got to see my aunt, uncle and cousin who I haven’t seen in soooooo long (like since elementary school or something!) so yea it was a great trip but I am so glad to be home.

 

Lets see…what else…im sure there’s lots of stuff. But that’s just the gist of it I guess.