clenching my hands

I am currently sitting on my bed on my laptop. It is the only quiet spot in the house right now. Boy d I need it. Right now all I want to do is cry. I’m so pissed and frustrated. Im not to sure as to why either. I just want to yell at matt right now because he keeps being an ass. I have had nothing but attitude from him the last few days and it hasn’t helped me any. The house needs cleaning which I tried to do but with him home I cant do what I want to because he wont help and he just sits in front of the tv. So now I have to wait until Saturday to do it. I only managed to get out bathroom cleaned and the cardboard/paper tied and out for recycling for tomorrow.

i’m frustrated with my job and I am frustrated with my home life and my marriage. I try to talk to him and it doesnt work doesn’t help. he is constantly sleeping in front of the tv and has no motivation to do anything. and he wonders why I keep getting angry. if only he would stop staying up so late. he very rarely works later at this place so there is no need for him to stay up till 2-3 am every night.

and then this weekend having to deal with his family….he doesn’t understand why I wont go up there. he doesn’t understand the fucking bullshit that goes on.

and right now i’m sitting on the bed and he is sleeping on the couch and probably has no idea I am even up here. I most likely wont go back downstairs until I get hungry or I think the load of clothes should be dry. when I said my vows I didn’t sign up for the fucking constant maid cleaning and the fucking bullshit that keeps flying out of his mouth lately….and you how upset I am since all 3 cats are sitting on the bed with me right now.