He Says
I’m not gay, I say.
Doesn’t matter, he says.
Doesn’t it, I ask.
Nope, he says.
Why, I ask.
He takes my hand.
I pull away. I shake a little.
You’re shaking, he says.
I know, I say.
Why, he asks.
I don’t know, I say.
He takes my hand again.
I don’t pull away.
You’re still shaking, he says.
I know, I say.
And you still don’t know why, he asks.
I guess not, I say.
He moves closer.
I look down.
Why won’t you look at me, he asks.
I don’t know, I say.
I think you do, he says.
I don’t say anything.
He puts his hand on my shoulder.
Look at me, he says.
No, I say.
Please, he says.
I can’t, I say.
Because you’re afraid, he asks.
Yes, I say.
Well what are you afraid of, he asks.
I don’t say anything.
You’re afraid you might… he asks.
Yes, I say.
Then maybe we shouldn’t, he says.
I don’t say anything.
He takes his hand off my shoulder.
I’m going to do something, he says.
I don’t say anything.
And you don’t have to do anything, he says.
I don’t say anything.
And you can just see, he says.
I don’t say anything.
He leans in.
I don’t move.
A guy