Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing…

 and it’s our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.

Woke up this morning around a quarter of six , not because I was worried about school but by a siren. Because Dylan was taken away from me by one I freak out when I hear a siren. I feel like I’m being electrocuted. Not a big surge but the kind of feeling you get when you accidentally put your and in an empty light socket. The siren stopped right in front of my house and I watched them take my next door neighbour away. His name is Gary and he removes junk for a living and has taken all our dead appliances away for us. I got to thinking about how Destiny is more than likely something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is random, almost accidental. I decided not to take that trip.

I decided to begin my sixth or seventh attempt at post secondary. I decided to go to college this morning. I got to my class with relatively little drama other than the neighbour and the ambulance. I was nervous going up to the doors of the school but when the doors opened there were so many students crowding the halls that I just had to tuck in and try to make my way to section “I”. I had to ask for help you see. I tell you though, when I got home from the conference to find I had officially dropped in the 1 hundred and 50’s and was half way to my original goal I felt pretty good. It was just the confidence boast I needed but I digress.

I had to ask for help you see. To get my ass to the classroom. With 45 minutes to spare I decided to watch a few scenes from “The Slums of Beverly Hills” and used some earbuds as suggested. At 9:38 when no one had shown up for class I asked for more help which was no small, existentially neurotic feat for me, I’m just saying. Apparently :”there’s no classes on orientation day, just orientation…and a B.B.Q.” I went to orientation.

An hour and a half of listening to Mike and Gord say things like “ don’t text in class, unless, of course it’s an emergency” and then Mike would prattle on about what constitutes an emergency. “Please do the readings”, followed by Gord explaining at length the importantce of actually learning something by chosing to read. “Don’t troll the internet while in class”, came with a really long tet a tet between Mike and a snotty elitist bitch and last but not least, my personal favourite, “do not, do not use class time to catch up on your sleep” followed with Mike describing, at naseum, every single instant where someone in his class had fallen asleep during his lectures. Hmmm…. perhaps it’s your lectures and not students trying to catch up on their sleep. Just a thought….

The crazy girl sat beside me but was helpful, mostly because she never shut up. I bolted from the classroom as soon as orientation was over. I walked home and enjoyed it. I bought lenox and Rowen a Happy back To School present; just something small… you know some vegan jerky and clay soap. I’m home. I’ve had some popcorn with especially delicious butter on it and I’m looking forward to going back. Going back to my sixth or seventh attempt at post secondary. Going back to college.

Does that mean oral ability is a highly underrated thing…. ‘cuz and it’s my pathetic need for it that gets me into so much trouble.

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