30/06/2021

So this just happened, just as I published the last post.

I’ve been sitting here feeling very lost, very thin and low today. I was just talking with my friend Nina and saying I’m looking for things to do at the moment, I need to find ways to meet some new people and expand my social life because I”m starting to feel quite lonely. N is a christian and I said to her that I envy her, in a sense, her belief. I wish I could believe in Christianity, because it gives her such a support network. But I just don’t think I can go along to a church meeting because I don’t believe in Christiantity. I believe in some elements of it, but not others, and therefore I’d feel hypocritical going along to meetings.

ANYWAY. Just sitting here in costa and 2 women come in and start talking about a “Croydon spiritualist church.” Over the years when I haven’t know how to define my experiences I have said they were spiritual. Basically this sounds exactly what I’m looking for.

Chance? God? Syncronocity?