17/05/2020

So I’m meeting my friend today in the park opposite my flat. I’m meeting her at 2pm, so have an hour and half to kill.

I’m watching American Gods on my friends borrowed amazon account, have only watched 2 episodes so far but absolutely love it. I read the book quite a while ago and thought that was so well done, kudos to Neil Gaiman for that. I would actually like to read the book again because I feel like I was distracted whilst reading the end and so don’t think I got everything from it that I could have done. I’ve just finished the end of episode 2 of the series and Shadow has just made the comment, paraphrased, that ‘if there’s a world below the world, then he’s cool with that.’ I think for me reading the book that was one of the things which I really liked, was the way he seems to describe psychosis, but in a different sense. Although it’s probably more alike a mushroom or acid trip. He also makes a comment about the television talking to him, and this reminds me of experiences i had when I became unwell when I was 20, of believing the radio hosts were talking to me. It was so weird, and, lol, I was on mushrooms at the time, but the music effected me on a different level, it was incredible it would kind of draw me in and I’d realise I was listening perhaps much more closely than I’d been aware. This became apparent when the adverts or the hosts started up and then it was too much.

It’s kind of like how listening to music when you’re stoned is so incredible. I miss that- getting high and falling away into music. I’ll never forget the first time I listened to Radiohead’s street spirit on skunk- it changed my world, my life it was so powerfully moving.

Anyway. I started editing a short story I started writing soon after I came out of hospital this time around, for a competition which has its deadline in about a week. I’m quite pleased with it, it’s pretty punchy and as the comp is for flash fiction and the wordcount is 1000 words I think it’s attention grabbing enough. I didn’t get picked for the long list for the other comp I entered- I found out on Friday. Was a bit of a blow but seeing as the prize for it was 10 grand it likely attracted some of the best writers, so I’m not surprised really that I didn’t make it. This one is a much lower prize amount so I guess I have more chance. I like the story I’ve written but I’m not sure I can get away with it, if that makes sense. It’s fairly street, it the best way I can put it and seeing as that comes out from my fingers sounding a little stiff, the point may be valid. But I think it’s street in the right way for me. I think it’s quite genuine, shows the side of me which I express best in words. So does that make it genuine? I’m not sure.

I’m going to enter it anyway, it’s almost finished, just needs a couple more edits so I may as well go for it. I haven’t gotton back to my main novel for a while. Hopefully soon.

Anyway laters, and have a good Sunday.