Where does love end, in the heart or in the head?

This is just an update… because I still hold that this diary contains the most important part of me somewhere within it. And I feel a responsibility to keep it alive. A necessity.

The only problem is that precious little has changed in the months since I last wrote something. I’m still working temp jobs. I think I never mentioned having a girlfriend in the past entries, so that would be news to whoever is still out there reading. Overall, I’m living the same life, trying to get by without screwing anything up. Done a decent job of that so far. I must give myself that credit. And life’s not really bad or anything… if that’s how it sounds… I just really don’t think it’s good either. I’m not sure this is ultimately how one should live.

I just read some old entries in here… and realized I’ve forgotten something. I have vague entries from early 2003 describing having gone through something that I wasn’t going to explain in words and revelations. I cannot for the life of me recall what these were. I remember having them. And they must have been big, because even the vague recollection brings me to tears. I saw things. Knew things. I think this is possibly my first case of repression (I’m don’t think it’s suppression… but I could be wrong).

I’m very happy where my friends are for the most part now. Most of all is probably Shannon. There was such a void with that ugly distance between us. She’s doing so much better. Jay’s going to be a multiple father come this July. I am hoping I share a birthday with his and Katie’s baby boy.

This is possibility the worst entry, in my evaluation, I’ve ever written in here. But it’s been too long. Let’s see this as a place holder for better future words. At a time where I’ll actually say well what I want to say to you. Because I haven’t for awhile, yet there’s a lot to say.