October 25, 2003

Somewhere Beyond The Sea…

So David can still experience emotion. Even if rare and several months between. And those moments filled with several varieties of emotion.

Good to see I’m not the complete Apathetic Generation Poster Child.

It’s amazing how much one can miss a girl who probably hardly thinks of you. That’s what self-adopted little sisters are for though. More amazing how the older brother can almost forget as well, then remember in one night, in a rush of pride and love.

Amazing how much one can just wish for the feud to end, the past to be forgiven, and him to recipricate an outstretched hand as a peace treaty and no longer see me as who I am not. Amazing to stand there, waiting for one moment of eye contact… and to have it never come. To turn away disappointed, head down… and upset the past will not be removed from some people’s minds.

Amazing to know I can be bitter, myself, at a woman for so long without ever seeing her; then to feel that frustration fly away in the first sentences of conversation. To see the good in her, despite her cluelessness and carelessness at times.

Amazing to converse with the only companion I had that night, despite the familiar faces. One I had not seen since before I left this summer. And one who will always be one of my best friends in my estimation. We may be outside looking in, but at least we know we’re both in it together.

Amazing to see how unimportant one truly is.

And that’s about it kids. My fingernails are dirty. I’m not sure when I’ll get them clean.

Vice_and_Virtue

October 26, 2003

Actually, it is amazing to realize how important we can be in our unimportance… There’s always someone listening, or watching, or caring… or reading. I always thought this vapid hole I’m sinking into (a.k.a. “life”) would cease to be; that it was due time I hit the bottom. But I’ve just realized that it is a bottomless abyss… just surrender yourself into the state of “falling.”

cilantro

alainajoann

ah I’m so glad you wrote. It’s good to know you still have emotions…I believe life is dull if you have no feelings. *hugs* alaina joann

saix

October 27, 2003

i’m glad you’re not a robot.

El Matto

the parallelism in our lives sometimes astounds me.

Emotions are always there.. they’re just sometimes hidden by bouts of “I dont care” periods but they come back.. oh they do. p.s. I’m glad that you wrote again too – I was wondring what ever happened to the one loyal OD’ist I know.

October 30, 2003

st. augustine is a really cool place. and that was flagler college’s radio station. apparently st. augustine is the most haunted city in america too. florida is definitely the place to be.

I wish I could get my head out of the sand, cause I think we’d make a good team.. and you could keep my fingernails clean.