Reprimanding Disneyland

The essence of what I discuss here is more important to me than almost anything else.

I love Disneyland in too many ways to count. But the ways I hate it are slowly adding up.

Yesterday, I attended the legendary park which I frequented frequently through my childhood and adolescence. I can trace back a memory for almost any area in that place, some very significant. The first time I was dumped by a girl occurred in the middle of Main Street. The first thing I ever stole was a container of Nickolodeon Smud from a vendor outside It’s A Small World. I feel an integral part of my life floats in the air of Disneyland.

I have often believed that the worst possible scenario of an attack against the U.S. would be to blow-up Disneyland. I cannot explain how much more devastating this would be for me than ten towers falling. There was talk of Disneyland being a potential target after the 9/11 attack. I feared this possibility in bed at night. I sincerely believe life would never be the same. I couldn’t even guarantee I wouldn’t immediately enlist in a war against whoever was behind it.

With all this in mind, we now proceed to my experience yesterday. I felt angry fires in my heart waiting to enter the Tiki Room at the start of my visit. The cause was a little tv screen playing loudly while we, the good paying customers, waited. At first, it was fine. Videos of Hawaii flashed with narration. Fitting enough for a tropical paradise of singing birds. Then, suddenly, the unsuspecting visitors are transported to the Dole pineapple factory, bombarded with phrases ensuring us of the quality behind every can of Dole pineapples. The video wraps up with a marquee of the many varieties of Dole fruit cans (not just pineapples anymore). How did we get so far from Tiki Room appropriate subject matter, so quickly?

Disneyland entrance fees range from $63-83 for one day. A small cup of soda is $2.69. Plain burger and fries are $7.69. Plus, there are plentiful amounts of overpriced, cheap souveniers in every corner. Profit is being made throughout the park. You cannot convince me advertising Dole in the Tiki Room and Chevron on Autopia is a necessary evil. The masses of children will easily soak up these product placements. The money men know this all too well. Why ju$t have label$ when you can include $ubver$ive video$ as well?

Disney also capitalizes on their own success now. Pirates of the Carribean, a classic ride with a simple beauty, has now been revamped with Captain Jack Sparrow animatronics (which horribly contrast with the older animatronic technology) and a lame attempt to create a wacky Sparrow adventure through new voice-overs. Pirates of the Carribean was a brilliantly designed ride: people sit in a boat, calmly floating down a southern stream, then they are unsuspectingly transported back in time to receive a snapshot of pirate fantasy, and finally spat back into the present day. It was not a story. It was definitely not a promoting of a Disney franchise. The genius of the ride’s engineers and creators is pissed on by the changes. What of when the P.O.C. movie fad fades?

Even the seasonal Nightmare Before Christmas modifications to The Haunted Mansion is an abomination of what made the ride great. It’s just a splatter of bright lights and colors with absolutely no imagination. There’s no skill behind the design. The heavy lights even make visible things which were meant to be invisible in the original design’s genius. The original ghost dancers dance in the middle of a huge christmas tree, as though the new designers just didn’t give a damn where they put their clutter. The ride was meant to be spooky and stimulate the imagination… not crassly bombard the senses.

I mention all this to stress the lack of inventive and imaginative talent Disney employs nowadays (ie. Buzz Lightyear’s Astro-Blasters). They know as well as others in the commericialism business that the way to sell, sell, SELL! is sensationalism. They aren’t interested in anything else. Just as the constant re-releases of movie editions (the special, special edition) are worthless, so too are all the modern Disneyland modifications. At least when Walt Disney created crap (It’s a Small World) it was with the best of intentions.

I’m not deluded enough to say commericialism is new to Disneyland. It’s been there as long as I can remember. And yes, Walt Disney constructed the park aware of its profitable potential. Still, at the forefront of his plans and superceding all else, he had the public’s pleasure in mind. I am convinced of this as others are convinced of God’s existence. Disney created Disneyland to give kids and adults alike a place to dream and believe in all that’s possible in life. He loved the place just as much as his customers; and that, my dear readers, is the sign of a truly Great businessman.

Nowadays, however, commericialism controls the park with the iron fist of a dictatorship. The visitors crawl under its oppressive power, driven helplessly by their sacred belief in the heart of Disneyland. People save money for months and years for one day of fantasy in Disneyland, an escape from the toil of the cynical world. It is grossly irresponsible of Disney to reap unnecessary profits from their paying customers who are not there to be told to eat Dole fruits and buy Chevron gas.

Disney is whoring up their own amusement park. As with everywhere else, the dreams of the people are pimped by the men in suits. You can smother the face of a truly beautiful girl with makeup, but somewhere underneath, her face still shines. Those who love her still see the beauty beyond the paint. This is why I and many others will continue to visit Disneyland, no matter how sad it is. In the way a protestor may love his country greater than almost anyone else, I still love Disneyland immeasurably beyond the disgust I have for it.