Sing with me

Here’s a story….. Please hum along to the tune of The Brady Bunch

Of a lucky lady

Who had 13,000 dollars in her hand.

Oh not one time, and not twice But three times baby

But really not at all.

End humming.

Unless you want to figure out the breaks, then by all means, be my guest.  Oh that reminds me………….

Be my guest, be my guest, put my service to the test…. Please hum to the classic Beauty and the Beast classic…

Alright stop humming would you I’m trying to tell a story here.

It is really amazing how one can have money and not have money at all. And how one can own a piece of property having technically not paid one red dime. Or one copper penny.

So…….we found a piece of property. We made an offer on that piece of property….The offer was accepted. We decided to fund it in cash with the help of a no finance charge for 14 months credit card. balance transfer advance. That way we would not have the additional 2000 dollars in closing costs on a 13,000 thousand dollar lot. Too much of a percentage and in 14 months time, we could either have it paid in full or at least by half and then it would move to a lower-than-lot -loan- financing- rate for the remainder of the balance.

But it ‘s complicated.

Because when we found the property and after our deal was in writing, I also found a house. The house was double +50 thousand our current mortgage. So with the clock ticking to finance or pay for said property I was trying to figure out how to afford both. I could finance the property with a 3 year lot loan for interest only and get payments down to 59 dollars a month which would allow us to have the cash flow to upgrade houses. Only problem was that we would have to sell our current house to move to the larger one. There was no way to afford a lot AND two houses. So during the process Tom informed me that I needed to replace him and upgrade to a richer model to support me. Well there was NO way to finance a lot, sell a house, buy a house, list property for sale, AND replace him at the same time so I pulled back. WELL. by the time I decided how to pay for the lot (with the credit balance transfer) I was up against a time crunch. I ordered the card and ordered balance transfer checks with 1/2 a month for them to be delivered and deposited and cleared. NOT.enough. TIME. For anything other than an ulcer that is.

It gets complicated.

The property owner was going to be out of town for the closing date of the 6th. So the lawyer called me with 4 days notice that the closing had been moved up to the 2nd. I told her that was a problem because the funds would not be available until the 6th which had been our original closing date (all the time holding my fingers crossed that the funds would clear by then)

The lawyer said, :"Well it’s not multi millions of dollars, that will not be a problem; I will simply get all the signatures and record the deed on the day that the funds come in"

It gets complicated.

On the closing date, we all signed and the lawyer passed along a check for 13,000 to the seller. My jaw dropped. The Lawyer had decided to personally fund the amount , float me if you will, until the 6th. That’s not what she said would happen. I had a new since of obligation…to a lawyer…who could have my legs detached from my body…..instead of just a property owner who would slander my name in public….kind of obligation.

The 2nd was a Friday. We closed. And technically the funds passed thru my hands for the first time..

My balance transfer checks arrived on Saturday JUST AFTER THE BANK CLOSED. So the check was deposited on Monday. With encouragement from Discover that the check could clear overnight depending on my bank’s policies. Upon depositing the bank placed a 7-day hold. So the funds passed thru my hands for the second time.

I went to the lawyer’s office to explain and guess what she said, "I can’t float you that long I have to have the funds no later than the 6th" In a detach you legs kind of tone.

Stressing completely out I did what any self respecting adult would do; asked rich uncle to float me. So rich uncle wrote out a check for 13,000 and said, "That check will not bounce, I own stock in the bank and they will KNOW my name" The funds passed thru my hands a third time.

I was at the drive thru window at 8:30am the second the bank opened to obtain my save-my-legs cashier’s check. I decided to call my friend Sari to get the correct spelling of the lawyer’s name the-very-second the teller said….."I"M SORRY, THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH FUNDS IN THIS ACCOUNT TO COVER THAT AMOUNT"

W-H-A-T

Then like an angel speaking from heaven….. Sari said, "Just let me write you a check out of my home equity line of credit and you can put the funds back in when your check clears." So we marched to the bank and received a beautiful cashier’s check in the amount of 13,000. Remittance: Comedy J. Mom Payee: Legs secured Lawyer

And that my friend is the story of how one lucky lady actually had the funds pass thru her hands a 4th time. But not really. And how a piece of property became mine….but not really…..or at least not technically….or yes….technically but by being floated to be floated to be floated.

 

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