Live Like You Were Dieing.

I loved last night. It was the first time in weeks that I have felt so alive, so real. I love adventuring to new places, or just revisiting those old. It’s a nice feeling to know that when everything seems so upside down that there is always going to be someone there to enjoy the tipsyness with. Sitting on that hill really made me think. You asked me if I ever thought I would be here. I said no. How could I? This all seemed like such a dream. A wonderful dream. And I thought, but dreams never come true.

I am not: at all what you think I am.
I get hurt: when you say you’ll always be there, but when I need you the most you are no where to be found.
I love: how I can be myself around all of you.
I hate: the way I am and then pretend like I don’t.
I hope: that I will never lose touch. ((I just can’t help getting a little hopeful. I want something real to happen to me. I want to be loved.))
I hear: your voice in my head telling me to tell her everything.
I crave: the ability to write again.
I regret: nothing.
I cry: I drive: I don’t.
I sing: and don’t let anything hold me back.
I dance: minimally.
I write: nothing. [everything.]
I breathe: to live.
I play: freely.
I miss: too many things to list.
I search: for real things.
I learn: something new everyday from the least expected people.
I feel: horrible.
I know: too much for my own good.
I say: terrible and thoughtful things depending upon who I’m with.
I succeed: in being here.
I fail: at having morals and living by them.
I dream: about the strangest things when I remember.
I sleep: so easily it seems these days.
I wonder: if it all really is about the hokey pokey.
I want: to live.
I worry: for all of you because everyone’s holding something back.
I have: the awesomest friends.
I give: good times.
I fight: away the boogeyman.
I wait: for unrealistic opportuities.
I need: people.
I am: awesomely terrible.
I think: that we make the best fun ever.
I stay: here, because I need you.unwillingly.
I care: almost too much.
I always: care, even when I hate you.
I long to: leave.
I feel alone: …
I listen: to everything. It doesn’t even have to be important. It’s just a nice feeling.
I hide: from the past.