Running & Babies!

Just wanted to write a quick one before popping off to bed!

I’ve been trying to wake up at 5:30am on weekday mornings to get my workout in before going to work and so that way I have the entire break between my split shifts free to do things other than just procrastinate about working out. Plus, all the research about the benefits of early morning, fasted workouts etc. etc. I’m obviously a health guru, judging by my extreme amounts of Google searches regarding the topic! So far I’ve been successful in kicking my butt out of bed at such an ungodly hour – however it has only been three mornings, and the third on Friday was an absolute killer where all I wanted to do was swear and cry at this ridiculous life choice. And I nap during the day because I’m so damn tired…but still! I’m counting it as a success! I actually feel really good once I’ve got my workout done and have had a quick cold shower just to wash away the sweat before going into work. Then when I get home from the first shift at about 9:15am, I can take my time having a good, healthy breakfast and scroll through my socials, unlike my previous routine when I’d wake up at 6am, chuck an English muffin in the toaster and gulp it down before rushing out the door. At the moment I’m very positive and determined to make it a habit so let’s just hope I can follow through!

My period is due on Wednesday and I have been an absolute ravenous beast the last two days. Good lord, I’m just always hungry! I’ve been trying really hard to continue to stick to my healthy eating but I’m not sure it matters how healthy you eat when I consume such sheer volumes of food? And there’s definitely been some naughty fried and take-out food that snuck in despite my strict list of foods I can and can’t have. I just want my period to start so this feeling of being endlessly hungry can stop. Also my weight has gone nuts which in turn drives me nuts. Between Friday and Saturday mornings I apparently put on 1.8kg! Now I know scales and constant morning weigh-ins aren’t good for the psyche and that weight is not necessarily an indicator of health but still – 1.8kgs?! So that put me in a right mood. I just want to be skinny and fabulous and have my life sorted out, is that really too much to ask?!

On a brighter note, today’s long run went beyond well and I’m super proud of myself which is not something I can always say so I’m going to bathe in the pride while I can! I sacrificed my one chance at a sleep-in and got up early to beat the heat but it was so worth it. I felt energised (probably all the carbs from the entire box of Shapes, huge serving of Shanghai fried noodles, and dumplings I’d had the night before but shh) and while I still had the occasional niggles rotating between my left achilles, left knee, and right heel, it just sort of felt like background noise rather than the excuse to stop like they usually are. There were lots of runners, cyclists, and walkers out and I smiled at everyone I passed; even saying ‘good morning!’ when my breathing allowed it. It was a hard run (‘running isn’t supposed to be easy’ – one of my favourite mantras to keep me going when times are tough out there) and the heat definitely reared it’s head about halfway through but I just felt so good. In the last km I even bumped into an old friend from the running club and stopped to have a bit of a walk and chat with her before finishing the last 300m at a cracking pace. All up it was 18km in 1hr and 54mins, which included a couple of stops at road crossings and the walk with my friend so I’m really really happy with that pace. I’ve long accepted that I’m never going to be super speedy but it’s still important to celebrate what is a good pace for me without trying to compare it to other peoples’ paces.

By far the most exciting thing to happen this Sunday though is that my brother’s fiance’s waters broke! There’s been a few issues with finding a hospital that can accommodate for the premature birth of twins and I think my brother is quite anxious now that they’ve carted her off to what is perhaps known as a sub-par hospital but it’s their first children so I understand their need for everything to go smoothly; especially because it’s a premmy birth and the babies will have to remain at whichever hospital for about two weeks afterwards.  But despite the anxiety, it’s all very exciting! I can’t wait to meet my two new nieces – that’ll make me an aunty five times over! Four nieces and one nephew who cried when he found out that the twins were both going to be girls. I’ve told Mum to wake me up and tell me if anything happens overnight and if not, I’ll have my phone on me all day tomorrow at work so that I can know asap once they’ve been born. I’m not even a baby person, truth be told, I really don’t like them (why do they seem to cry and poop endlessly?!) but I am so keen for these two new babies, and not just because they’re new members of our family and I have an automatic love for them, but I think because almost every other aspect of my life at the moment just seems so dull that I’m looking for anything to shake it up a bit. Babies will certainly do that!

Oh, also, you’ll never believe this but Angus has gone and got himself a shiny new girlfriend! I saw it on Facebook last night and I just stared at the post because I couldn’t quite believe it. Yes, it’s been almost a month since I told him that I needed time to think and yes, he’s obviously gotten the hint that I don’t want to pursue a relationship with him but still…four weeks is an awfully quick time to jump into another relationship, isn’t it? I just don’t understand what’s going on in that head of his. Not to mention that the post says they’ve been in a relationship since December 19th which, um excuse me, was definitely the time he was spouting his obsession for me and buying me sweet Christmas presents so what the hell is with that? I don’t know if it’s legit or he’s just backdated it like that knowing that I would see it and be ‘jealous’ which I am 100% not! I’m confused and a little bit mad, but mostly not surprised because once again the cycle begins again of him jumping into another relationship entirely too quickly to fill the gap left by a failed one. Anyway, after I saw the post I had half a mind to text him but I put aside my raging emotions and just went right ahead and deleted his ass from Facebook and Instagram – I don’t have time to be seeing that sort of bullshit. Good luck to him!

Better get to bed so I can drag my sorry ass out of it at 5:30am tomorrow morning. Monday’s suck.

Ashleigh