Poor But Boujee

I’ll tell you what, I am feeling hopeful as fuck today! Things dipped low for a week or so there but I can easily blame that on the fact that I suddenly cut out sugar from my diet with no warning whatsoever to my body (sorry, dude). But today was a good day!

I entered the draw for the 2019 New York City Marathon this morning and while I’ve not told anyone except Mum because I don’t want to jinx myself by being too confident, I’m going to write it here as my way of putting what I want out into the universe and hopefully receiving it in return. Do I believe that stuff actually works? Jury’s out on that one, however I am willing to do anything that will make this dream come true – I can’t remember ever wanting something so damn badly. I find out on the 27th of February if I’m selected or not and I know the chances are very slim (like, more-likely-to-get-struck-by-lightning slim) so I’m trying to keep my expectations low to avoid the extreme disappointment that may come with not being selected…but also I can’t help but feel that little spark of hope that maybe, yes, I will get in. The random drawing is really my only way into the Marathon because I’d never be able to get the qualifying times for it, I’m not an NYC citizen, and I doubt any charity would take me on, which I believe are the only other ways to get in; it is the world’s largest marathon, after all. I am so desperately hopeful.

Paid for both my car insurance and the tollway fee today, too – doing those kinds of seemingly insignificant tasks always makes me feel like such an adult. Like, see Ashleigh, you may have killed almost every houseplant you own, and you still live at home with your parents like a 15 year old child, but you pay fees now so you’re definitely an adult! Claps for me.

Went to the cinema and saw Instant Family today (by myself, as per usual), and because it was just a random midday session they put it in the fancy cinema that’s usually reserved for gold class so I got to act all boujee for a couple of hours in the big reclining armchair…should’ve bought a bottle of wine to really set the mood, now that I think about it. Aside from that, the movie was also really good! I’m a sucker for those cheeseball sorts of movies, though, so not sure how trustworthy my opinion is. I think I liked it even more because I also plan on fostering kids in the future (after I’ve sorted my own shit out because at this moment I’m probably more unstable than the actual foster kid) so it was cool to see a movie portraying that. Plus I’ve got a weird soft spot for Mark Wahlberg which I’m yet to figure out the reason behind. But yes, definitely recommend this movie if you want a some laughter with a little bit of a teary on the side, too!

When  I got out of the shower tonight and caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror, I found myself actually admiring how nice my collarbone area is looking. Or my ‘decolletage’, if I’m channeling my inner boujee girl from the cinema earlier today. Whatever we’re calling it, I liked the look of it which is very, very rare for me so, I don’t know, I just wanted to bathe in that for a moment; giving myself compliments is a rare occasion. I have lost 8kgs since November last year so I guess maybe I’m just finally noticing the changes? 6 more kgs to go and I’ll be at my goal weight which I’ve given myself til March to hit. It’s a tight time frame and sometimes I worry that I’m putting too much pressure on myself but it’s definitely doable and I just feel like I need this one thing to go to plan, seeing as everything as in my life seems so up in the air. I can actually control how this goes and I’m really enjoying seeing my body change and being able to fit into clothes comfortable without constantly having to readjust to hide the rolls!

So yes, a good day! I’m actually excited for whatever is to come!

Ashleigh