Happy Monday!

So, I was off today. Hooray!!! My endometriosis (well I need to have a small surgery procedure to see if I actually have it but my doctor is 99% sure I do have it) was terrible today. The pain is unbearable so I laid around all day and watched tv. My pain pills only take away the pain a little, like your worst cramp days are how I would feel on a good day or with medicine is how it was described to me. I hate the pain and I always tell my husband that if I were giving birth that pain would probably be more doable. I don’t have children so I don’t know but man oh man, that is how it feels. I was so bloated that my largest comfy sweats were snug uuuuuuggghh. I hope tomorrow is a better day because I work all day tomorrow and it will just be an awful day if I am in pain.

I am in a school orientation at the moment because I moved out of state right when I was towards the end of school and now I haven’t practiced on my machine for MONTHS. That worries me because it is all about speed and back home I practiced everyday for several hours but it’s been at least 3 months since I have practiced and when I went just a day or two with no practice my speed went way down so I am definitely worried. My books are packed away in a box back home, I definitely thought we would have our things here by now but it is extremely expensive to move things across the country and we just don’t have the money to do this and whatever that is just life but I feel stuck. I also work nights here or the late shift and with the time difference I don’t know that I will be able to finish. I am extremely sad about the circumstances for me and my schooling and it just bums me out. The classes begin at 12 California time which is 3 here – right in the middle of the day and 2 hours into my shift. I looked for a school here that offers what I am taking but there aren’t any. I think the closest one is in person in Georgia. Fuck man! I put my heart and soul into this, I loved it. It took me forever to get as far as I was because I also worked full time but I didn’t really care how long it took. I found a great job that I loved in the field I was going to school for that obviously I had to quit. It was very hard and I paid for everything and just like that, that dream is gone. I hate feeling negative. I need to change my attitude. Great things are happening here for my husband and I and I of course do have a backup plan, I just wasn’t expecting to use it. I have great support for my backup plan and I will be just as successful because I always do my best and I have my husband’s support fully 100% in everything and anything I chose to do, and he has my support in everything and anything as well. He is wonderful to me. So, now, I have set my backup plan in motion (while of course never fully giving up on my original plan, it is just set aside for now) and I have set a timeline of one year or less to accomplish it so I can get to work.

LET’S GOOOOO!