50 Shades and BDSM – my take on it.

So I’ve been getting a few notes on here about the book…people who want to read it, people who are unsure, people who haven’t read it…etc.     I haven’t finished it but here is my general consensus for anyone who is unsure 1. about the books or 2. about bdsm and the topic of 50 Shades in general.

*please note that I’m only on book 1, and approaching page 400 (of 500ish?). I will try to discuss some of my opinion without giving too much away

If you have never tried anything kinky or don’t quite understand the D/s aspect of a relationship, or have tried some kinky stuff but have always been curious to try further….this may be a good read for you.  It can/may open up some ideas on things you may want to try.  There are some really hot scenes that would indeed be fun to reenact. A lot of people think the bdsm stuff is more extreme than what it actually is.  While some aspects of 50 Shades do have some of that intensity, i’ve found that the main characters ease their way into this (one has experience, the other does not) together and don’t do anything crazy or intense too soon, which I think is exactly what people should do.  There ARE some things that are misleading about the D/s lifestyle, if you base all your knowledge off of these books.  You are not fucked up for being into this kind of thing (which is what the narrator seems to think) for many of us it is wired into us (I will be honest, I am one of them).  Also, bdsm does not include everything that is in the book, and vise versa.  The book goes, so far, shallowly but broadly into many aspects of that lifestyle.  There’s some pain, there’s some minor degradation, there’s bondage, power exchange, there is love, there is care-taking, and yes there’s a lot of sex.  These types of things aren’t for everyone though. Some people like pain, some don’t.  Some like more the aggression than anything, not exactly being submissive, but being roughed up.  Some people just want to please who they are with. BDSM and D/s relationships can cover even just ONE of those, they don’t necessarily mean that you HAVE to participate in certain activities.  I think for people who are curious about exploring or want some sort of idea of things they COULD encounter or do in a kinkier fashion than just your typical everyday sex, this is a good book to get a general idea of the options available.  Things you could do to your lover or vice versa, things to test the waters with, and yes some of the things that do go on in the book are true….true feelings, true aspects. If you are reading these books to get some sort of idea, and see what this kind of thing can do to/with/for a person, that’s awesome…but please do some further research before trying the first thing that you read.

If you are reading this book and are experienced in this realm,  You’ve done some D/s play more than occasionally and you have lived in this sort of lifestyle or something similar for a while and not necessarily looking into the book for ideas…this book may just be alright for you.  I will be open and upfront, I’ve been into the D/s lifestyle for a few years now, and I know that’s it’s been wired into me even as a kid.  I’ve had experiences, I know what it’s about, what it can be about, etc etc.  I’m no expert…I have things to learn and many thing sI have not experienced, but anyways, I was excited to read this book just because it’s the first time someone wrote something like this and has been very blunt about it and it’s become so big. So far, I’m a little disappointed with the book.  I thought some of the scenes could have been more detailed, and since I’m a bit of a writer myself, I struggled with the QUALITY of the writing itself.  Sometimes I feel like the writer has 1. never written anything before and 2. has never actually done some of this stuff before.. … I semi think that the author has only researched it and dabbled in it, but hasn’t fully experienced some of the things she is portraying.  I personally think the book is just OKAY.  I have bookmarked some of the hotter scenes that i thoroughly enjoy, whether it be because of the scene in general, the attitude of the character, a smart idea by the character, or the scene is just plain hot and I enjoyed it.  I can say already that some of the things the character is experiencing is quite mild compared to what I was 1. hoping for and 2. have experienced...but then again, I too started out being inexperienced at one time, so I understand the slow-going-ness.  Especially if some of the readers have very similar thought patterns as the main character who is completely vanilla and innocent.  Honestly, I think the more innocent and "vanilla" someone is, the more they may enjoy the book (especially because I have noticed from more than one person into this that it does seem mild…so to people inexperienced it may be quite exciting but not too intense).  Heck, people’s grandma’s are reading this  and loving it!

So those are my thoughts so far.  I think if your curious, you should go for it.  My mom has been encouraging me to read the books while some of my friends have been laughing at me and making fun of me for reading them.  I was sick of people telling me one thing or the other and just wanted to read the books for myself and make my own opinion.  So, so far…that is my opinion of the book.  I have yet to read the other 2…when I finish the series I think I may post more about it…and there may be a spoiler alert, but I’ll let you know.

That is all for tonight.