Things On My Mind

I know, that I haven’t been around much.

One good reason is…I finally went and got myself a job. About time I think too. I’m finding that it’s great help to just keep my mind on one path and some what keep myself thinking about what I should be thinking about. Im back working at Crown Towers and some older readers would know that years ago before Callum I worked there. I’m some what enjoying it. I hate the shift work and would really like some normal hours but Im guessing I need to put the hard hours in before I get what I want. I’m working in reseravtions taking and making booking for people who are wishing to stay at the hotel. Very different from housekeeping, but I am enjoying it. Im in my fourth week of training and I’m meant to start taking phone calls this week. After this week I’m all on my own! I should be right, just the matter of telling myself that yes I CAN do it and Im smart enough.

Home life sucks. It’s that simple it really does and I hate having Matt away. In October it will mark a year that he has been in this job and out of 52 weeks I may have seen him for 12. I’m really hating winter and this would have to be a big first for me. I normally love winter and snuggling up into Matt, but for the first time in 8 years I’m on my own. No more Cold Sunday mornings snuggling eachother. Did you know that there is nothing more sad then getting into a cold bed? Poor me.

I’m starting to think that moving to back to Melbourne isn’t everything that I dreamed it would be. I love being close to the city, and knowing that I can go into the city anytime that I wish too. Or on Sundays the shops are open all day and I don’t have to make a mad dash somewhere at 10am before everyone closes at midday. I know they are simple things, but you know I don’t have anyone here. I dont have any family. It’s just me and that freaks me out. I don’t have a family that I can run to when things get to hard and I need comfort. For the first time this year I have never felt so lonely and I dont have that wet blanket.

This must be my year of growing up. I have learnt more about myself and the world in last 9 months, then what I could have learned in my 25 years. I’m not as strong as I believed I was, and I am just as weak as the next person. And in my mind I keep reminding myself why we are doing this…..