So He Does Care

 Things are starting to settle down with my parents. Dad called me a couple of days ago to say sorry. Shock, Shock and more shock. We talked for hours. I felt so much better, and I think he did too. Mum seems to be really getting into single life. She even kinda seeing someone. I don’t know to much about it, but I guess in time she will open up a bit more. She has MSN on her computer now, and I find that we are talking via MSN most nights. It’s a lot better then not talking.

 Callum and I went along to a nappy nerd party. Being school holidays playgroup was at Leah’s place today and we took our machines over. I really did want to sew, but we all got to busy talking. I loved playing with Kate’s milk monsters. They are just so cute. Crawling all over the place too. Callum is a little, taken back from them. He doesn’t like it when Izzy takes his toys…and thens crawls away with it. The look on his face, priceless. I keep telling him that very soon he will be able to crawl away with one of Izzy’s toys.

 Talking about crawling, we are getting there. Callum has mastered crawling backwoulds and sideways. Going in front is a whole new ball game. I know he wants to, but his body just stays in the one spot. I can see it happening just before his first birthday. (I can’t believe that I just wrote that “His first Birthday”) I can’t believe in just a little over a month my little tiny preem babe will be one. His first birthday. Gee it has just gone by so fast. Callum is very big into making faces right now. I’m also starting to hear him say “mum” and “hey”. He has picked up on my slang. He just loves to make faces. Big smiles, bottom lipping me. He is also very muchly into cuddles more. Big cuddles where I know he means it. He really cuddles right into me. I just love it. I could sit and have him cuddle me all day long. I love to smell his hair.

 This makes me feel so clucky. I have a lot of pregnant friends right now. I guess making newborn sized nappies doesn’t help. I’m still having a lot of problems with my girly bits. I only got one cycle, if you could call it that before the endless bleeding has started again. Gee, just has I start to enjoy sex again I start to bleed like there is no tomorrow. I just lose so much interest in being a “couple” when this happens. I feel so much for Matt. Poor thing. I really don’t know what move to make next. I’m thinking of poping into the hosptial tomorrow and asking for a ultrasound. Yet I feel like there is not a lot that can be done. If I was to go on the pill, I would some cycles and be monthly, but we can’t get pregnant on that. Well only a 1% chance. And with me only having a 5% chance everytime I Ovulate, I do believe that the odds are not going for me.

 I still have this thing in my head, that next live/birthing pregnancy is going to be twins. I just don’t know what it is. I can’t stop thinking about it. Twins!! Maybe it’s just my head playing games with me. Or maybe I’m hanging out with the Milk monsters to much!!

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