Good Bye 2006

So good bye 2006!

2006 was a great year for us. We have lived in portland now for a year, had our second christmas here and second new year. Personally this has been one of the most best years in my life, yet im so glad that its 2007 and im hoping this year is even better. I have so much to look forward to in this year!

However the end to 2006 wasnt the best that I was hoping for. Mum and pete come down to stay for a couple of days and yet it turned into a big time all about them and them needing more then what I can give. She cracked the shits again. They seem to think that matt and I dont like pete. (Which is true) however both of us have welcomed him into the family still. However I dont have to wake up next to him. So I feel that I dont have to suck up his ass. Really they are pushing us to met his four kids and I know that Im not really to welcome more people into the family Im having a hard time still dealing with the fact that my parents arent together. I know it been almost 2 years but I still feel hurt. Plus what a big year for his childern…

Really I was doing good. I keep my parents far away because just as we get a little more into our life my Mum puts us down. I dont even talk to dad. And that hurts because i know that he doesnt want anything to do with me. Now this seems a little shitty but Im gonna say it. Mum has a trust for Callum and once she died the house etc would go into the trust for Callum and he could have it when he turns 25. Now Matt and I have no plans on telling Callum about the trust. I dont want to think that he has something to fall back on and thinks that life is going to give him everything. I want him to be a hard worker and feel the postives of working hard for something. But now the trust is still there however she had changed her will so that the house goes to Pete. To which then we wont see anything. Im hurt because she promised me but yet this isnt the first time that she has done this. So now Callum want be left anything. I know that sounds so slow but after years of hurt I was hoping that he would get something from it. I dont really care about myself but I want Callum to have the best start in life.

However this is something that I move on from and life can only get better. And my life must be better because my Mum was putting us down again. So now I feel so great.

Thank you 2006 for letting us make the best moves in our lifes. Thank you for a beautiful house and that we live in. Thank you for my wonderful little boy who in time is now talking up a storm and catching up in jumps! Thank you for Matt who i love with all my heart and I cant wait to see him be the best that he can be. Thank you for giving him a job that he loves and that they see him for who he is. Thank you for helping me see and help make me into a better person. Thank you for our great friends even thru we cat be perfect, we are human and a phone call goes a long way.

This year my life is going to be about change. In person in soul in life. I want to change how I see the world how i see myself and how the world sees me. I want to be seen as a person who has done something with her life as some one who enjoys life.