3/7/06

I have fouind it very hard this weekend to keep my legs closed, but I did it. I had all the signs of ovulation, yet I don’t want to upset my heart again. So I stopped myself from thinking about it. By yesterday just about all my signs had gone. Now Im left feeling sad that maybe we should have tried again, you just can’t win. It was about this time last year that wrote in here how I was scared of TTC again and that I just wanted a surprise pregnancy. A whole year has past now, how time moves so fast.  Well I did get a surprise that ended in a  loss and a second surprise that too ended in a loss. So now I can only wonder that the next months will bring.

In happier news I finally joined a gym. I guess if I want a pregnancy to go more then 15 weeks  I need to lose some weight, so I even signed up for a personal trainer. I start on the 16th of March with the trainer. Im even kind of looking forward to it. Should be interesting. I have to go to the next town over and get myself a pair of runners and some baggy tops and pants to waer to the gym. So we are going tomorrow. Matt is on his long 5 days off with a RDO from work so he is home till Saturday, and starts at work on Sunday. Shane, Kell and snoop are coming this weekend for the long the weekend. They are leaving on the Monday. I can’t wait till they get here. I miss our city friends. Well I miss Kell, She is a my best friend. It took me a long time to see it, but yes I do think of her in that way in a friend. We have a close friendship. I haven’t had a close female friend in a very  long time. Its nice.

We are heading up to the city on the 24th for the HIM Concert. Staying with my Mother too. Oh that is going to be a great joy. I still havent spoken to her from that last entry. She hasnt called me nor I called her. What a family huh?

Oh I almost forgot, Callum has started calling me "Kelllllllllll" and not ma. Thanks to Matt, I must say. Matt calls me Kell and because Callum does everything that he does, Callum now calls me Kell. 🙁 When he really wants me, he tills gives me  "maamama"a yell.

Thinking of going to bingo tonight, dont know if Megan is going..She lost her first game last week and has become a little sad. I guess the bubble popped.

Well thats about all I can think of. Having a reading on Thursday with Jaynie..should be interesting. Kinda why I havent been updating. And why everything is going on Favs only. I dont want her finding my Diary entries and reading them and then telling me on the phone what I writen back to me..??

Kell