Karmic Debt

 1053

A home wrecker? Me? I don’t think people who want to start that rumor, and did, knew just how badly I was pining for Rachel. And it’s not so much that anyone would say that cuz it’s not true, it’s not me. Not then, not now. All I’ve ever done is try to help people. But I’ve always known you can’t help anybody else until you can help yourself. And needless to say, I’m very bad at that. Tonight is not a good night. It feels like the world is ending. How fitting…it’s almost 12/21/12 for those doomsday believers. Friday is the big day. How bad can shit get before then because I have a hunch that things are going to get much worse as that planetary alignment comes into play.

I do wonder how different life might be on Saturday. Maybe change is good. But not cataclysmic or catastrophic changes. Those can wait a couple hundred years when I’m long forgotten and anyone I could care about in this lifetime is gone. Maybe I’ll come back as a drop in the ocean and won’t know pain in my next life or two. However, I have a feeling my karmic debt is too plentiful for that…