I love you madly sex bomb

When will my life leave this whirl wind?

Work: ugg over the long hours, I’m so hoping something opens up inside soon, I don’t think I’ve really wrote about all the crap going on inside the booth, there’s 4 of us out there(not at the same time, 4 of us that work out there one shift per person but 4 all together that run it), and yet I’m the only one who does ANYTHING they leave everything up to me, I do cigerettes(restocking), I’m scrubbing pumps(daily), restocking supplies, changing trash, sweeping, so forth and so on, this is part of our job and I’m the only one who does shit, I take pride in what I do and I’ll be damned if I look bad to my bosses or to costumers to go ewww gas stations are nasty as it is. I just lost my wing man who was the only one who helped do anything around, now it’s just me again. We just finished trainging a new person, but I honestly don’t see her making it she’s very nice don’t get me wrong super sweet lady but she’s skiddish around money and we deal with a LOT of money at times, and it takes a certian type of person to handle these sometimes rude ass costumers believe me it took me months to not come home crying because I wear my heart of my sleeve and I take things to heart, and it killed me to grow thicker skin and change who I am for the sake of assholes.

Anyway about 3 weeks ago, me and my wing man applied for 2 openings in costumer service they picked her, and it crushed me not because they chose her over me but because I’m now stuck out there with people who don’t do shit, I cried for 3 days and now D is making up bullshit lies about me and talking shit about me. I called him on his Bullshit and he straight lies to my fucking face then acts all fucking fake, FUCK THAT. everytime I look at him I want to punch him in his fucking face. I don’t have time to be dealing with the bullshit I want out of there, they need to lay in their own beds.
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I’ve been on two emotional extremes I’ll get very angry lately, to the point I want to just start punching something or someone and not stoping there’s times where I’ll see red and I have to leave or walk away from a situation before I lose it, then I’ll cry out of fustration because that’s not ME and then there’s times where I just start crying and can’t stop….

I need an outlet, I used to work out and work off fustrations, but now I have no area to do that in, I’m confined to one room and it’s toooooooo hot to go walking cause I’d do that in a heart beat, then I’d die lol

I gotta cook dinner but I’ll be bk to finish this or start a new one…