six years later

I was able to get through today okay. Six years ago you died Rachel and it’s shocking to see the time pass. You still linger in many parts of my life- many of those as an eerie reminder of what life has at stake. Your remnants are scattered in painful pieces throughout my mind, but they serve as a beautiful reminder of the woman you were. You were only eighteen the day six years ago you were taken from this world, so perhaps not a woman, but more so a life to be remembered. I dream of you, I see you, and I think about you often…Still, till now, not day passes without your presence. My life has taken many turns and they have been formed by your influence. Believe me Rachel, I am thankful for the shape you have given my life since you’ve been gone…

Six years has passed and I look up to you as you look down at me, with a smile, a tearful nod, and a strong appreciation of the life you’re living outside this world. I hope you are proud of me as I move forward through life. You have seen the changes my life has accrued this year and I hope you have followed with a satisfied feeling. I want you to know the way I am living as well as the way I have lived in the past six years, has been influenced by you. It may be a small influence by sight, but the pain and sorrow I felt six years ago that still haunts me has taught me about strength. Your influence has added the concept of strength to that which I harbor in order to live life.

I wish you only the best as your turn six years old in heaven. My thoughts go out to your family on this day. I would like you to know Kate and I have remained close. She is the last living memory I have of you and I am not ready to let you go. Our infrequent visits may be quick, but the presence of you through her eyes is well worth the wait..

Continue to watch over me Rachel for I am thankful. I miss you my Angel….