One More Try
It has been one year since we last physically spoke. Its been one year since we parted for reasons that only we knew were healthy. The absolute silence, the utter disconnect that fell over us, has helped us both move on. One year later and what I have now is our memories- 8 years of them. Eight wonderful years of your love, support, and adventure. I wouldn’t trade them for the world and the time we shared together is ours and will be ours for as long as we want…
One year later and I am spending it with a wonderful person. A woman that would do the world for me, a person that cares enough about me to see past my baggage, see past the doubtfulness I occassionally engulf her in, and love me like I was once loved by someone else. Two completely different loves, two completely special people. A first love is unforgettable and sacred, but a lasting love sees past the obstacles and loves you enough to withstand the hard times. My first love and I were a mixture of immaturity and uncertainty, but love all the while. Now, I stand on the forefront of a new adventure that was created during hazardous times, but transpired into the strongest, most durable and tough relationship I have ever faced.
I will always remember the good times I shared with my first love and inevitably become emotional when thinking about her, however, it takes strength and maturity to recognize a disconnect between lovers and face the reality of what you really are to each other. It was a reality that caused us great pain and suffering both internally for each other and externally for the one I became involved with.
Never compare two loves to each other because comparisons are futile when its really the differences that create the treasures. The difference between these women are vast, but similiarites certainly exist. I learned early on the power of sharing hearts and the impact and control you possess when your partners vulnerbility rests in your hand. Be careful not to squeeze her heart as she will feel the impact…just like I have and she has…two hearts squeezed too tight until resolution equaled distance. It was a healthy choice and a healthy proximity in which to linger and last apart until our hearts were fixed…And now, I have found the fixture that my heart was mended by… finally.
"I’ve had enough of danger
and people on the streets
I’m looking out for angels
just trying to find some peace
now I think it’s time
that you let me know
so if you love me
say you love me
but if you don’t
just let me go…
‘cos teacher
there are things
that I don’t want to learn
and the last one I had
made me cry
so I don’t want to learn to
hold you, touch you
think that you’re mine
because it ain’t no joy
for an uptown boy
whose teacher has told him goodbye,
goodbye, goodbye" –One More Try