Old Demons

Why is it that scars from your past always have to be reopened? Why can’t a painful time, a stressful situation, an emotional bridge that collapsed once stay that way and not come back to life? Is it really that hard for our past to stay in the past without disrupting the success of our present?

I have wrote about emotional scars and painful baggage that I carry, so now, I am simply bringing to life the pain these nuisances have currently stirred up. I know I shouldn’t, but if it will help make them diminish, it’s all I got..

Excuse my vagueness, but it’s the only semi public way I feel comfortable writing about it- why did ‘her’ misfortunate have to repeat itself again in another ‘her’ ? Am I simply the catalyst bringing these wonderful women down? The person hurting them without intentionally meaning to… I know I have had my share of bad luck in life, but please let me endure the pain I have already come equiped with instead of dealing my cards to others. 

I am writing this entry while thinking about two separate people right now, two different situations, yet I am finding it hard not to connect them. I am doing my best to move on from the former and enjoy the latter. And I am proud of my success thus far. I am not asking for much, but I am attempting to move on, leave the past where it is, and build something special and strong with what I have in my present.

Please go away demons. Stay where you are and leave me alone. I lived through you, gained strength from your harm, build a somewhat tough exterior because of you, but don’t come back. I guess, however, you only exist if I acknowledge  you, if I give you credibility and attention you don’t deserve…So I won’t.