missing the past

I have these flashing memories flooding my head right now that won’t leave me alone. They make me smile so much, they make me cry. I tear from the longing these places erupt in me, the desire to teleport from where I am now to where I was years ago. It’s impossible to perfectly recreate a place and time from your past that you want to relive. No one moment will ever be exactly the same. That’s where the ulitimate trickery of life lies, and I’m acknowledging it right now in order to bypass this fact with a sense of impossibility. I can be in Spain in memory, but not in person. One of the many loves of my life- Spain- will always be missed.

Spain may be in the past, but I’ll never forget it…

I feel so fake. Living at a house that does not belong to me, working a job that forces me to change myself for another version of my…self ( The difference lies in the person you are compared to the person you sometimes think you need to act like).

I have to pay attention to today and attempt to think about tomorrow- not too far ahead to get carried away, but distant enough to avoid the obstacles. When I think about the past I keep on trying to relive or at least invision exciting moments. I think about college and how I can’t believe I am a graduate. Those four years were like non other- too voluminous to describe and too up-and-down to recount.

I guess you really do need to live for today and get yourself into tomrrow.