How to Save a Life
There is something about those uncharacteristically sunny days with warm weather in the winter that make you smile. They make you feel like life isn’t always unfair, and to me, they illuminate a girl I miss, a girl I never have let go of, nor will ever. Sunny days bring to life Rachel…
As I turned to make a right on the drive back home, a warm breeze caught my nose, the bright sun gleamed before my eyes, and instead I took a left turn. I drove to the cemetery two towns over to see her. What I had anticipated as an emotional experience was more so a pleasant reminder of what life is all about. There is life and there is death, just as there is foreverness shielded by the fact, nothing is forever. Sitting down beside Rachel today, I knew I needed to talk to her. I stared at her grave as if I was staring deeply into those beautiful blue eyes of hers. The sun shined brightly back into mine as if she was looking right back at me…"Step one, you say we need to talk.
He walks, you say sit down it’s just a talk. He smiles politely back at you, You stare politely right on through."
Sitting there I thought more about life and how nothing truly is forever. Between the life we live and life we will live later on, I cross the thought of foreverness with fear and anticipation of what will happen next in my life? My life, which tends to carome from one danger to the next, all the while a smile residing on my face for which I am proud of…"Some sort of window to your right. As he goes left and you stay right. Between the lines of fear and blame. And you begin to wonder why you came."
We all go through life wondering what will come next? Who will we meet, what will happen to us, and where will we go? We cross the paths of others, and as a result, we build protective walls around the ones we care about. If it were up to me I would try to save the life of everyone I can at the expense of my own. However, would it be worth it to save the life of others if I believe the road we all live is based off of fate? No, I certainly could not get in the way of fate. Fate was what killed Rachel, even when I really know what killed her. "Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I know how to save a life."
Where did I go, Rachel? I don’t know where I was when you died, but I hope you know where I am going now, just as I wish I knew where you were going before you went. I hope that I am leading the life I was supposed to lead while setting the path for others that may journey down the same precarious road fate chose for me. Afterall Rachel, you do know best. "Let him know that you know best, Cuz after all, you do know best."
I guess what I am trying to say is that we can only try our bests to save those worse saving. Maybe we can’t prevent them from the inevitable, but we can help them along the way- whether this way be destructive, incredible, or just mediocre. We all pray that no matter where we go and which path we chose, someone will hear our cries. "Try to slip past his defense, Without granting innocence. Lay down a list of what is wrong. The things you’ve told him all along. And pray to God he hears you"
Follow me and you will see that what I am doing will serve a purpose. Perhaps this purpose is unknown to me, but let me get lost on my way to the place where I need to go. "As he begins to raise his voice, You lower yours and grant him one last choice. Drive until you lose the road. Or break with the ones you’ve followed."
Circling back to the beginning, ‘nothing is forever’…We all are here on earth for a reason, for a purpose, and if that purpose can’t be fulfilled then it’s our job to break away from that path we have followed. Besides, internally, we all wonder why we came, right? "He will do one of two things. He will admit to everything, Or he’ll say he’s just not the same. And you’ll begin to wonder why you came."
this entry really struck me. i know what its like to drive to a cemetery just to talk to someone you love. i never knew rachel but i do know she is proud of the person you are. you may not know your purpose now and you may get lost from time to time but i know you will find the path you were meant to travel. i hope you see all of the good that is inside of you. te amo…mad cuds…so safe.
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Confucius once said that in order to grow straight, you must first grow crooked. No matter how many crooked decisions you’ve made and will make in the future, your closest friends know that you’re destined for greatness. This is why I will always be with you, and Rachel is still with you. You never left her, nor her-you. She’s with you all the time, watching as you save lives everyday. Love you.
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Everything is truth unless Ive specified an entry to be fiction in the beginning of it… 🙂 Glad you’re enjoying my stories! I love how you wrote this entry.
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I still love this entry
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