an inherent responsibility

I wonder when it happened, why it happened, and most of all who made this happen to me. Was it because it was the better part of me that a higher power saw, used, and exploited my life with? Forgive my scarcity, but this whole concept I am elaborating on is perhaps one that has ran my life for years now. I am talking about responsibility. Who’s right was it to delegate so much responsibility to my life and consequently create this inherent need to care for so many others? Sure, I am a caregiver, a lover, a person filled with obligation and a sort of unspoken vigilance for others, but I hope there is more to me than just that. 

I have always been responsible and I continue to try and harbor this characteristic for I know it is what others associate me with. There’s a reason I was elected president even before I was initiated in my fraternity years ago. Is it an aura that has been relentlessly circumventing my life for years now? Since I was born? Or maybe, since a power unknown to me decided to make me a victim of a disease without a cure? Was it this very reason that responsibility sparked such a heavy placement in my life that it decided my future?

I worry about people, I look out for all those I can, while keeping the sturdiest of eyes on the ones I love. So what if others can’t handle repsonsibilty, I guess it just wasn’t meant for them. All people are able to be responsible, but when it becomes your life and a way of which people view you, you begin to see the differences.

For once I would like to walk into a room filled with people that I have invited, and instead be an observer rather than the entertainer. Dont delegate me the job that you weren’t given, don’t be rude to me if you think I am doing a poor job, only respect the way I decided to handle such a life…