ambitions

Lately I have been developing a depressing habit that has only left me with voids sometimes too large to fill. These voids have been formed through the recognition of other peoples ambitions, while mine have seemed to flutter in a spiraling downwards direction. Ambition has always been a signicant part of my life and literally the stepping stones I’ve paved my way to where I am today with. My ambition has come in the form of overcoming obstacles my life has been presented with, receiving prominent positions socially and community oriented, and even striving towards difficult goals that I know someone else would be better suited for, but nonetheless I have used my ambition to drive myself towards completing these lofty aspirations. So what has happened? Where did this collection of ambition go and why did I let it leave? Well, it may not of left, but perhaps it has changed as my life has. I have gotten older, thus my ambitions have changed, although I’ve hit an age where more materialistic and economically imperative ambitions may superimpose those minor aspirations that were once important at certain times in my life.

My brother recently told me of his plans to do international car sales overseas by utilizing my father’s automobile license and his good friend’s dads’ oversea transportation license. An idea that would be financially genius, although this was just the start of the career he really wants to pursue by opening up his own business.

Tonight after the gym my friend explained to me a website he has been working hard on by taking videos, pictures, reviews, and other college-friendly testimonials regarding colleges for incoming freshmen to view via online. It would make the process of visiting schools or reading about schools more accessible and understandable for a senior in High School. Brilliant! What ambition my friend has especially when he said he’d try to sell it to a search engine like Yahoo! and then travel internationally to pitch the same idea to different countries.

It’s the ideas like these that have recently made my own ambitious goals seem ordinary and even boring. I feel cold and stranded in a direction where I am only completing the assignments of my life that are for that particular time and only anticipating the outcomes of what the future really holds…

However, tonight as I drove home I finally came to the realization I have been waiting for. It may have been the icy temperatures, yet the ironic spiral of left-over autumn leaves swirling the highway streets that sparked this idea, though it doesn’t matter either way. I can do what I want to do and set my mind to anything. I need to prevent the ambitions of others from staining my own and I need to be happy in the achievements I complete. It will only be myself that initiates these ambitions and in life it is yourself that knows best…

I can do anything I want to do…