Music, Lyrics, & Life

~♥~ Facebook ~♥~ Fubar ~♥~ History Of My Mother ~♥~ History Of My Father ~♥~ History Of My Kids ~♥~

Current Mood: Sad & Pissed Off

Today’s Plans: Sleep & PMS

My Favorite Quote:
”I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
~Marilyn Monroe

I have had a lot of bad shit happen in my life as most of you already know… For those new to my diary there is a few entries linked at the top that give you an idea of the hell my life has dished out to me… The most common things I hear from people who learn of my past and/or life is the following:

[Statement #1] You must be an amazingly strong person to have survived it all…
[My Response] I’m not as strong as you think… It has had it’s tolls on me and I hide my feelings pretty well… I may be friendly and caring but inside I am a bit cold and don’t show emotion well… If I weren’t so afraid of death I probably would not have survived it all…
[Statement #2] Wow… If I had gone through that  I probably would be crazy by now…
[My Response] Everyone responds to tragedy differently… Some hide out… Some lash out at others… Some internalize the pain… Some recover… Etc… But in all honesty I am a bit crazy… I am bi-polar (hereditary though so can’t blame that on my life) and I have Borderline Personality Disorder… Among other things… Mostly as a result of my life and I have to be on medication for life just to be a little less mean and a little more sane…
[Statement #3] But you’re so young…
[My Response] Your point??? Life doesn’t give a shit how young you are… Some people just have shitty lives with a lot of bad luck… I just happen to be one of those unlucky few…
[Statement #4] I know how you feel…
[My Response] The hell you do… For starters you’re not me… You may have had some of my experiences but I can guarantee you haven’t had them all… No matter what you have been through in life no 2 people are the same so you will never know how someone else feels about their past on the same level as they do… Cause plain and simple everyone absorbs and reacts differently… Which is why one of my favorite quotes is "10% of life is what happens to you… 90% is how you react to it"…
[Statement #5] You went through all that and your still a caring and you still help others… I probably wouldn’t be so kind if it were me…
[My Response] You have no idea what kind of person you would have become if you lived my life so how can you say that??? I am helpful and caring for one main reason aside from the obvious "I don’t like seeing people suffer"… I help because I would not wish my life on my worst enemy… I wish someone had been there for me like I am for others… That is why I do it… To make a difference, have my life mean something to someone other then just myself, leave my mark on this world before I am gone, and plain in simple everyone needs help every now and then… Only a selfish cold person would turn their back to it…
[Statement #6] How did you cope during your dark times???
[My Response] I coped by sure willpower and my love for music… Whenever I am pissed, sad, happy, or just need a boost I listen to music to help me through cause you can find answers to many of life’s problems within the lyrics of some song you just happened to

hear… That can make a huge impact on you and your will to go on…
To further demonstrate what I mean I have decided to post videos of some of the many songs that have meant something to me, said how I feel, or generally helped me sort things out…

Click The Links To Listen

Cher – You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me
Jasmine Richards – Here I Am
Nickelback – How You Remind Me
Pink – Fuckin Perfect
Pink – Bridge of Light
Kelly Clarkson – Because of You
Savage Garden – To The Moon & Back
TLC – Unpretty
Avril Lavigne – Keep Holding On
Britney Spears – Girl in the Mirror
Mary J. Blige – I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Meredith Brooks – B.I.T.C.H.

*Candy*