It Sucks. It Stinks

So the guy that I thought I had this totally incredible relationship with, the one I lost my virginity to, I think he’s just using me. I so should have seen that one coming but of course, I was blind. Hindsight is 20/20 right. So whenever we go out, I pay. He moved into his apartment back in September and was sleeping on an air mattress so he finally purchased a bed and is still in the process of decorating the place with furniture. He doesn’t even have a microwave yet. He got his bed almost 3 weeks ago and spent close to $700+ decorating the room. $350 for the bed. $250 for bedding at Target and $100 on cleaning supplies and other necessities from Ikea.

His next paycheck isn’t due until February 1. His budgeting was a little off. The bed and bedding are necessities (its a nice break from the air mattress.) But when we go out he never offers other than to say that he’s broke because he didn’t budget properly. He even wanted to go to lunch but I had to nip that one real quick because what he really means is that he wants me to go with him so I can pay. I called him yesterday afternoon but he never called back. I just don’t get it. I really don’t get it this time. He sleeps with me and I pay for him (movies, lunch, dinner) but he does nothing. I’m sure there’s a word for this I just don’t know what it is. I don’t think I’m wrong for thinking this way. #1. I refuse to call him, #2. I refuse to return his calls, #3. I refuse him.

He really has some nerve. It’s no wonder that he asked me to move in. He wants someone to help him and his roommate with the household but I never get anything out of it. It just doesn’t make sense. He thinks that just because I live at home still that I have money but I really don’t. I have a car payment, student loans, and credit card bills to pay. I’m not so much hurt, just disappointed that it took so long for me to see this. When I watch movies I always vow to never be the girl that likes a guy so much that she can’t see whats really going on, but I am the girl. I feel taken advantage of. He’s 28 and a guy so he should bring something to the table other than a penis. I am never spending the night or sleeping with him ever again.

To top it off, I could be pregnant because we didn’t even use a condom last time, but that’s another entry for a month from now. As a matter of fact, sex is so overrated, I don’t even get anything from it its just for him. We’ve only slept together twice but that was good enough. I don’t love him and as I get to know him, I don’t like him. Where are the good men hiding at. The men that believe in a true and fair love? Why me?