How To Deal
My boyfriend is an amazing guy and I love him so much. To be honest, I’ve sensed some distance between us for the past couple weeks. At first I thought it was just me imagining things so I’ve been trying to keep my distance (emotionally) and give him his space because I thought he was cheating on me. I would cry a lot. When he asked what was wrong I had to lie and tell him something else. I’ve even been playing sad break up music which didn’t help me. We went to dinner Friday and he told me that I’ve been distant and I swore to him up and down that I was okay. Saturday things were awkward for some reason and Sunday things seemed to be getting a tad better. He asked what was on my mind last night and I told him that I was thinking of him and how he said that I was distant. He said that it’s probably just him because he has so much going on in his life right now with his family, career, and our relationship.
His brother passed almost 6 months ago and he’s been distracted since he doesn’t have any closure. He’s not sure what to do. He keeps telling me that he doesn’t want to hurt me but I know what he’s getting at. I want to be there for him anyway that I can and let him know that he can ALWAYS talk to me and if needed, take it out on me (Yell, scream, cry) and I’ll be okay with it. I don’t know how to help him cope with the loss of someone so close to him. He literally feels incomplete. Part of it is the things that he did when he was younger as far as not being a good big bro and getting in fights. I know he feels a bit guilty.
In all honesty I want us to work out but at the same time I need to give him space to take care of himself. I think our relationship is suffering. We don’t go out as often as we used to, we don’t hold hands, we aren’t intimate, he can’t focus. One minute he’s talking marriage and the next I am a perfect stranger. I mean, there’s just a lot to take in to consideration.
As much as I love him, part of me wants to find someone else just in case we don’t work out so that I don’t get hurt. I think that’s the reason for the "distance." I don’t want to get more attached/involved. What to do? How do you help the one that you love cope with the loss of someone so close to them?