Metallic Blue Persuasion

This is really going to happen.  That’s what hit me Friday afternoon.  My brother is really going to get married.  I mean, sure he’s pushing 30 now and, sure, Brittany is pretty much perfect for him, but Jason just never, ever, seemed the type to be capable of truly settling down.  Even now, he parties like there’s no tomorrow (which is one reason the two of them are so perfect together…….she’s the same way). 

And here’s a random thought:  Her official title of relation to me will be "step-sister-in-law."  That’s a lot of hyphens.  Of course I’ll never call her that (since when have I referred to Jason as my step-brother and meant it?), but I just find it hilarious because it’s so odd.

Anyway……  Friday afternoon, the whole family was sitting down discussing the wedding plans.  Kind of important, considering the wedding is only about six weeks away.  Honestly, though, I can say with certainty that everyone is looking forward to the parties (before and after) much moreso than the wedding itself.  Bachelor party on Wednesday (Windsor, Ontario, here we come!), another party on Thursday, wedding reception Friday afternoon, after party Friday night…………….  Yeah…it’s gonna be a hazy week.

Friday at work turned out to be one of those great days, and so unexpectedly.  Just another day until I got back from lunch.  Turns out that the Operations Manager (which is like the second in command) got fired.  It was like a party broke out.  This guy was a fucking douchebag.  Always said he was a "hands on" kind of manager, but never actually put his hands on anything.  Treated employees like shit, deserved or not (usually not at all).  Just lazy.  For the first month he had the job, the fucker barely ever came out of his office.  Speaking of which, when he had his office painted, the color he chose was Shit Brown.  I’m not even kidding.  It was the color of shit.  I was so pissed that I missed him getting escorted out of the building.  I’d been waiting to see it since his second week, when we all realized he was such a douche.  We were all still laughing about it today.  Talk about a morale booster.

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  "Before I Forget" by Slipknot, "Master of Puppets" by Metallica, and "Rowboat" by Coal Chamber

Vh-1 is having a so-called "Metal Month" for all of May.  What a joke it has been.  I watched the whole "40 Greatest Metal Songs" countdown, which was decent.  I’d agree with much of it.  Everything else has been shit.  They think of metal as having been dead since the end of the 1980’s, I think.  All their talk about "being metal" all month has included them playing all of zero current metal videos.  Played a nice block from Vh-1 Classic’s vault.  Whoopie.  Who the fuck cares?  Most of those I saw even sucked ass.  Not actually metal.  There is a distinction between rock and metal.  Poison?  Not metal.  Scorpions?  Not metal.  Slayer?  Metal.  Slipknot?  Metal.  Pantera?  Metal.  And don’t even get me started on how much the metal scene sucks ass right now.  The bands have become almost as stale and indistinguishable by sound as the rap genre has been for years.  There’s a huge, almost innumerable, group of metal bands who sound exactly the same.  All choruses have a two beat drum backbone, all singers growl indistinguishable words, and they all sound like an steel chunks being blown out of someone’s asshole and hitting an aluminum wall.  Show me some variety.  Show me some actual talent.  Dare to try something different.  Allow me to hear what you have to say…..I might just want to hear it.
After much suffering trying to figure out just how in the fuck to end my Darin and Ayme story, I think I finally hit on how to do it today.  Just out of the blue, I had the idea to have Darin be writing the story after randomly bumping into Ayme for the first time in five to seven years.  So now I just have to flesh it out and be done with it.  And it’s about effing time.

Would it be wrong of me to wany to buy some Pepsi Blue off eBay?  Allow me to answer my own question:  Upon further research…..fuuuuuuuck that.  When I saw a single can selling for $12.50 (including shipping)……I tuned out.  It was good, and I wish it was still around.  Just not nearly that badly.  Even more ridiculous is a single bottle of Crystal Pepsi (also sorely missed by me)….it’s selling for $23.00!  What…the…fuck!?  Too much money, not enough sense.

After having seen all that, I can’t continue.  That seriously has just dumbfounded me.  Completely.  So I go.

Sayonara.

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