Lovely to Love Your Lovin’
Oh, what a wonderful world it can be sometimes. ::ahem:: Sorry. I can’t help myself too well anymore from just oozing happiness and bliss. In fact, despite the way we talk to each other, there is supposedly still a small (very small) chance that Shera is going to go back to Augie. Nevermind that she and I have established quite a few things just between the two of us…………..the largest of which is that we are in love.
I know, I know. It’s too soon, right? That’s what I was worried about, too (as was she). But when it’s true, it’s true. Back when we first started talking to each other, it came up in conversation somehow that we are both the type to fall for people hard and fast. And that’s what has happened here. What else can a guy say? It also helps that we’re completely obsessed with each other. I mean, if we’re not around each other, we want to be. We think about each other all the time. We miss each other as soon as the other is gone. It’s sickening, really. In the fun way, I mean. Everything is just so right. That’s the best word I can think of. It’s just….right.
Of course, she’s still trying to get Augie out of her system, and he’s still trying to get her back (even though we know for a fact that he’s been out fucking around since he dumped Shera). Every once in a while, she’ll get really depressed and quiet and tell me that she hates herself because part of her wants to go back to him. But I take comfort in knowing that it’s a really small part. The rest of her just thinks of me all the time. Our worlds have come to revolve around each other. And yesterday was perfect evidence of this…
Monday night, I fell asleep talking to Shera on the phone. My phone was underneath my head as I laid down. At some point between one and one-thirty, I dozed off. At about 3 AM, I was awakened by the continuous vibrating of my cell phone under my head. Nothing could stop the buzzing except removing the battery, which didn’t really do anything because it would just start up again as soon as I put the battery back in. The screen wasn’t working at all. Nothing was working. Eventually, as I messed around with it, I got the phone part working again (as in, I could call out and talk on it), but still no screen. I was fine with that, because I had all the important speed dials memorized. Then, somewhere around 4 AM, the screen came back on, but the phone part quit working. And I noticed some moisture on the hinge (where it flips open and closed). That’s when I put the pieces together… I had pretty much ruined my phone because I fell asleep on it………and drooled into it. Only I could pull off something so bizarre….something so horribly stupid. I called Shera when I got to work (as my cell phone is my only phone at home) and let her know what was going on, and that I planned to get a new phone after work, so not to worry about not being able to talk to me last night. After work, I went to the Verizon store, and was told that they would have to ship me a new phone (at the not too bad price of $50), and that it would take 2-3 business days. I looked at the girl dumbfounded and said, "But it’s my only means of communication…" Not that it made any difference. At that point, I was fucking pissed the fuck off. Inconsolable. I went to my mom’s house and left her a note about the whole thing (just in case she tried to get a hold of me for anything for a few days……and because I was having the phone sent to her house). I then tried to call Shera from the house phone, but couldn’t. I’d forgotten her number (actually, I was just so fucking pissed off, that I couldn’t think straight). So I drove to my apartment, got her number, then drove back to my mom’s house to try and call her again……only to be met with the realization that my mom doesn’t have long distance on her house phone (though, really, how Springfield, TN is long distance, I’ll never know….it’s roughly an hour from here). So I was even more pissed off. Very frustrated. I came close to throwing things. Then I remembered the fax machine in the office. So, in desperation, I tried to dial out on it………and it fucking worked. I was in shock. So I left Shera a lengthy, rambling, damn near sobbing voicemail about how I’d be phone-less for two or three days (and we’re working opposite shifts all week). So no seeing each other, and no calling each other. It was going to be hell.
Back home, I was slightly less mad. I’d really just wanted to let Shera know what was going on. That was my main focus, and was why I was so pissed off about it. About 6:30 PM, I checked my email and noticed one from my mother. She said she hated the idea of me being incommunicado, so invited me to stay with her for a couple of days. This way, she has company while Randy is out of town, I won’t be isolated in the event of an emergency, and (in a huge points winning move in Shera’s eyes) I would be able to talk to Shera that night. Without hesitation, I packed up my work clothes, and jumped into my car.
I called Shera after I figured she’d be home from work. When she answered, I just said, "Guess who." And she exploded into my ear with, "DAVE!!!!!" She proceeded to gush with the giddiness of a five year old about how happy it made her to hear my voice for the next, like, half hour. And so it was crisis averted.
Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox: "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin, "Dancin’ on the Ceiling" By Lionel Ritchie (damn you, Sears Radio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and "Wasteland" by 10 Years
Shera has taken to calling me "David" instead of Dave much of the time. It’s really weird to hear it, because no one has called me by that name in a very long time. When they did, it was never for long, either. It has certainly taken some getting used to, but I rather enjoy it. But that’s probably just because it’s coming from her.
The love thing came about over the course of two days. One night, we got on the subject of it, and I mentioned that I have a fear of saying it first because of my checkered past with it. She told me that I shouldn’t be afraid because I would know what her answer would be. I told her it didn’t matter……that I’d been there before and it still didn’t work. So, at that point, she pretty much dared me to say it by telling me she would not say it first, no matter what. Two days later, and after about three hours of fighting the urge to say it, I told her I loved her. She kissed me, hugged me, and whispered into my ear, "I love you, too, David."
As things stand today, I’ll be stuck here at my mom’s for tonight (but hopefully that’s all), and won’t get to spend any real time with Shera until Friday night, when she finally has another day off. Then it turns into a "spend the entire damn weekend together" kind of thing. Last weekend was the same way. I went to her house Frida
y night (and ended up sleeping there because I fell asleep while she ate dinner and didn’t wake up until almost 4 AM). She came to my apartment Saturday afternoon. I went back to her house for a few hours after the Titans game (which I don’t even want to talk about) on Sunday. We just can’t seem to get enough of each other.
And it most certainly is not a bad thing…
Sayonara.