Hate-Mongering the Minutia
Today was my wake up call……literally.
After five weeks of boring as hell, learning next to nothing training, today was my first day actually out on the phones at Comcast. The main thing I was reminded of was just exactly how much I hated call center work. God in Himmel is it bad. Mostly, it just has to do with my hatred of talking to strangers. Call it a phobia, call it an annoyance…whatever. The simple fact is that most people are idiots, and they always call into call centers. I didn’t take a single TV call past my first break today (which was at around 11:30 this morning). It was all internet troubleshooting, all the time. Sometimes, the solution was stumbled into by luck, sometimes none was found (and thus the problem was pushed up higher), and sometimes I was able to find it in the course of planned troubleshooting. But it was always annoying. People deleting their primary username, then wondering why they have no internet service. People who can’t use the Self-Install Kit they wanted to get to save a few bucks. People who can’t set up Outlook Express to check their email (is logging into a website so god damn hard? seriously!). People who haven’t updated their OS in nearly ten fucking years (Windows ’98, for fucks sake! Windows ’98!). Then there were the people who couldn’t figure out their bill. Why they were charged for this, why they hadn’t received the new bill. Even the one paranoid guy who was terrified because the cashier’s check he mailed in on Friday wasn’t posted in the billing system yet. It’s only Monday, you stupid bastard! And he argued with me, for like twenty minutes! Just utterly miserable.
Not to mention that I sold absolutely nothing. A 12% commission doesn’t mean shit on sales of ZERO. But I digress…
I guess, at this point, it goes without saying that I don’t see myself working this job for too terribly long. It would have to grow on me really, really fast. And I almost hate to say it, but I miss physical labor. Sitting at a desk for 8-10 hours a day just sucks ass. I miss being able to move around and do stuff. I miss testing my limits with lifting (not enough to go to a gym mind you…..I don’t have the time or energy for that shit). How fucking strange is it that a lazy ass mother fucker such as myself would abhor sitting at a desk, talking on the phone, pecking at a computer all day? Is there anything about me that makes sense anymore? Because I’m starting to wonder. I think Shera’s "walking contradicion-ness" is interacting with my own to make it worse than it was before.
Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox: "Lithium" by Evanescence (coming to Nashville on March 28…and guess who’s gonna be there………….yes, that’d be me), "Uninvited" by Alanis Morissette, and "Just Walk on By" by Leroy Van Dyke (classic country music, son…hell yes!)
I find myself in a unique predicament. For the first time in roughly two years…..I have a job that pays me more than enough money to get by…..yet, I don’t desire to spend a dime of it on myself because there’s pretty much nothing that I want. When one is only making $8000-$9000 a year, it gets hard to give in to the petty wants, thus, I have eliminated my desire for things that I don’t need. It’s to the point now that there’s not even anything I have to fight buying, because I just don’t want any of it. To me, that’s just weird. Usually, I would have to fight the urge to buy a movie, or a CD, or a game, or whatever. Now? Nothing. There are very few things that come along, or are coming along, that I want (notable exception #1: Funeral For Yesterday by Kittie…to be released on 2/20….I will be buying that immediately). In truth, I’ve fallen back into a pattern of being generally bored by my life. The parts spent talking to those few souls who are truly close to me being a major league exception, of course. Those are the happy times….the few, the proud, as it were. I dunno……I’m just bored.
Then again, there was one thing that held my attention utterly the past week, and that was re-watching my favorite anime series, Love Hina start to finish for only the second time. I just fucking love that show. It’s hilarious, yet it wrenches the emotion out of me. And no character anywhere else gets the kind of reaction out of me that Naru Narusegawa (the love interest of main character Keitaro) does. She makes me utterly hate her. Seriously, just hate her. She’s indecisive, she’s a coward, and she constantly runs away from her emotions because of how it’ll make her look to others. It makes me want to beat the shit out of her. Seriously….she makes me that angry. I found myself, repeatedly, just practically yelling at the TV, "You’re such a fucking pussy, Naru! God, I hate you!"
And I wonder why chicks haven’t ever been interested in me. Between that and dissecting the Star Wars trilogies at work…..I’d say I just nailed it. And now, to go wallow in my sleep….I’m fucking exhausted from having slept for roughly 30 minutes last night (thank you, combination of sleeping until 1pm and freaking out about 1st day on the phones!). And so, I just fucking go……..
Sayonara.