Hardly Clerkin’

As anyone who knows me at all could figure, I went to see Clerks II just as fast as I was able today.  I’m talking, I got off work at 2:10 this afternoon, walked across the street, and went to a 2:30 showing.  It’s the first movie I’ve paid to see since….ummm…………y’know, I don’t even remember.  Seriously.  I don’t even remember the last movie I went to at the theater.  Time to do a little research….  Okay.  It was UltraViolet on March 6th.  Now I feel better.  Before that, it was Underworld 2.  So, I guess what I mean is, I can’t remember the last time I saw a good movie in the theater.  Until today, that is.

Yes, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that I was going to like this movie.  Being the big fan of Kevin Smith that I am, we all knew I would enjoy this before I even sat down.  And enjoy it I did.  Very much so, in fact.  My only real gripe with the movie is that it seemed too short.  It was so enjoyable that it felt like it was over too quickly.  The trademark witty, hilarious dialogue is back and more vulgar than ever.  The characters of Dante and Randal just seem to flow so naturally from Kevin’s mind.  The back and forth between them is, most of the time, quite rhythmic.  But, again, I knew that would be true going in.  As for the new additions to the cast, namely Trevor Fehrman as Elias the hyper-Christian Lord of the Rings nerd, and Rosario Dawson as Becky the cool and sexy "other woman" in Dante’s life…….they all find their fitting place within the established Clerks universe.  Elias makes a fantastic new foil for Randal, as the two routinely clash in what seemed like more than just simple squabbles.  It was more like cross-generational nerd warfare…..specifically, the argument over Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings.  One of the very, very funniest parts of the movie.  If not for Elias talking about various types of "trolls" later on, it would be the funniest part.  Becky’s role in the proceedings is very obvious from the first time you see her onscreen.  You realize she’s going to end up with Dante in the end, but you have to wonder how it gets to that point.  And, I have to say, Rosario Dawson has never looked so hot.  I don’t know if it’s the glasses or what, but she’s awesome in this movie.  Also, I have to point out that Kevin Smith really knows how to write a memorable female character….one you’d want to get to know yourself.  Becky joins Alyssa Jones (from Chasing Amy, duh) in the upper echelon of that category.  The vulgarity of Clerks II was ramped up from the original, which I’m not sure I knew was possible.  I mean, we get a donkey show, for fuck’s sake.  And a homosexual one, at that.  Two people got up and left the theater after not even twenty minutes because of a scene where Dante, Randal, and Becky discuss ass-to-mouth for a few minutes.  Of course, the two people appeared to be in their 40’s, so why the fuck where they there to start with?  Anyway….  Overall, the movie was hilarious, and definitely makes a good follow up to the original.  I’d recommend it to everyone, but, really, it’s mostly just for the Kevin Smith crowd.

Hell, I already find myself wanting to see it again.  Which I will, probably sometime next week.

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  "Pieces" by Dark New Day, "Beg" by Evans Blue, and "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin

At work today, I didn’t do shit.  Seriously, nothing was even expected of me today.  Not by anyone.  I put in for a promotion (Signing Team Lead…..so far no one else has put in for it, either).  I ate four chili dogs (and am currently paying for that…my stomach is killing me).  Then I got to spend the better part of two hours going back and forth with Augie (my boss) and his girlfriend, Shera (who also works in the store……she was off today, but showed up anyway).  It seems that someone has started rumors designed specifically to break them up.  In fact, the person is feeding bullshit to Shera’s mother to tell her so she’ll dump Augie.  So I was encouraged to pull Shera into my office today (to get her away from the chili dog party because the Security manager was there, and Augie and Shera don’t want him to know about them for some reason…..anyway….), and we proceeded to spend a good half hour talking about all this crap.  She tended to believe the stuff her mom was telling her (simply because it was her mom telling her…..nevermind the original source, whom Shera has known for years and hated for almost as long).  I told her she shouldn’t worry at all, not that it stopped her.  I told her that, as long as I’ve known Augie (since October), he tells me just about everything as it relates to females.  That, yeah, he has a well-founded reputation as a player, but that he has noticeably settled down since he met her, and that I don’t believe he’d cheat on her (especially not with who it’s said he’s cheating with….just….no).  Somehow, it eventually turned into Shera getting angry at Augie and telling him she was leaving (she’s practically moved in with him).  Then it turned into a summit meeting of sorts between Augie, Shera, and Angie (the accused "other woman"), where the air was cleared.  For now.  I swear to God………..how the fuck do I always end up in the middle of shit like this?  It never seems to fail.  Oh well.  Just another day at the office……doing nothing work related, and getting paid for it.  Oh yeah.

The Darin/Ayme story is now finished, officially.  Just last night, I typed up the final part of it and posted it here.  So go read it already.

And, after that small bit of shilling…………I’ll call this fucker done.  Mostly because it’s about to storm outside, and I’m worried the power would go out before I finish anything else.  So I go.

Sayonara.