Five Long Years

Five long years, indeed.

Today marks the fifth anniversary of this diary’s inception.  My God what a long time ago that was, both on the life calendar and the actual calendar.  I barely even remember who I was back then.  Just some depressed, whiny, punk ass college kid.  Now?  Hyper-jaded and contented wage slave.  What a difference half a decade can make, I suppose.

Many a dream has come and gone in the past five years.  As has many a player on the stage that is my life.  As has many a mood swing, many a film or TV reference, and many a hilarious joke that only I get.  One thing I can say I’ve done more than any other with this diary over the last five years is entertain the ever-loving fuck out of myself.  Heavens to Murgatroid do I have some fun with this.  This is where I’ve learned to embrace my critical side, my quizzical side, my cynical side, and even my serious side.  I don’t remember life without this thing….and I can’t envision life without it.  Where else would I go to cause problems for myself?  Or to rail against nothingness?  Or to praise obscure movies while bashing thousands upon thousands of others?  Most of the people I’ve ever known wouldn’t care about a fucking thing I’ve ever said in here, and that is why I believe I need this the most.  Especially over the past two years or so.  I’ve learned to censor myself (finally) around people I know I could shock, or people who just don’t know me as well as they might think they do.  The only way to know me…..the true Dave….is to have read every single last one of these entries.  Alternately gut-wrenching and hilarious, pointless and meaningful, and even, on rare occasion, actually insightful.  But I go on needlessly.

I wish to repeat something I did a mere three years ago.  Given how much thought (more often than not) goes into an entry title, I like to give them their own category.  The entries themselves have, at times, been completely overshadowed by a brilliant title.  And, of course, there are entries way better than their titles.

These titles are inspired by movies, music, words I just learned, whatever.    These are some of my favorites…

1.  The Leaky Faucet, The Masochist, and The Gasbag (9/23/2002) – This title gets funnier every time I read it.  It’s a takeoff on a chapter title from Wayside School is Falling Down by Louis Sacher.  The original title was something like "The Leaky Faucet, The Foghorn, and The Giggle Box."  Something like that.  I just took it and adapted it to myself (obviously).  Still hilarious after all these long years (all….two and a half of ’em…..).

2.  The War of All Against All (1/29/02) – Direct from the writings of Thomas Hobbes comes one of my absolute favorite sayings.  I’ve used the saying a ton of times when referring to some kind of mental turmoil I may be undergoing at some point.  Not to mention how often I’ve used it in fictional pursuits as well.  It’s just a phrase that grabs and doesn’t let go.  What can I say?  I like it.

3.  The Bastardization of Love and Hate (2/6/2002) – The title describes the entry perfectly.  Though, I must say, the entry is rather poorly written and thought out.  If I hadn’t rushed it, I think it would’ve been much better.  I just didn’t quite say all the things I meant to say with it, I guess.  Instead of a classic entry and title, all I got was a fantastic title with a craptacular entry.

But that’s enough of that.  If I just wanted to praise entry titles, I would be here until the fucking end of time.  Besides, that was just turning into a rehash of the last time I did that.  So how about moving on.

Now for some fun entries.  Not gonna go into the heavier stuff here (as of this exact second, anyway).  This is for the silly, the critical, the vile.  Here we go again…

These two must be read together, as they detail incomprehensible movies (coincidentally, I may add a third to this in dealing with the dueling Exorcist prequels):  UltraViolet and The Two Higlander 2’s.

These are just a sampling of my religious themed entries (really more odd or misunderstanding then flat out religious, I will readily admit):  Dave Christ?, Fate, God, and Religion, Jesus Was a Communist, The Great Leap of Faith, and yet more.  But I don’t feel like collecting them all.  That’d be too much work.

Hell, I think I’ve done too much work already.  What can I say?  I’m lazy and I’ve been awake for 31 straight hours.  Not to mention I’m having to only listen to Casablanca (as opposed to, y’know, actually watching it).  And I’m missing Detroit vs. Edmonton.  The things I do for you people.  Sheesh.  Y’know what?  How about I just end this off with perhaps the truest movie quote I’ve ever heard (as it pertains to myself, of course).  And I quoth South Park:  Bigger, Longer, and Uncut………..

"Off to the movies we shall go…….where we learn everything that we know……."

And there you have it.  To five more even longer years.

Sayonara.