Entering Lightspeed
What a difference a week makes. Seriously, I can’t imagine things being anymore different in the span of a week. But my, oh my, how great it has been….even if it has been entirely nerve-wracking. That I can deal with. I needed to eat less anyway. Lesser sleep isn’t so great, but that’s something I’ve always been able to get by with. But this is enough teasing, I reckon. Time for the show itself……..
When I last left everything on Tuesday, there was a pretty large mess brewing. There isn’t really much of any other way to say it. Ever since Shera admitted to me that she really liked me, things just kept getting messier and messier. Then when she called me while Augie was gone Tuesday night….well….the mess only just intesified. But Friday afternoon, it ceased to be a mess anymore (well…for me anyway). We decided that we needed to hang out with each other after I got off work on Friday. And that she was moving her shit out of Augie’s house. It started that she was just leaving for the weekend because he was going to have family staying at his house. But as the afternoon progressed, it turned into her wanting to go get the rest of her stuff and just end it. Which had nothing to do with me, by the way. I finally got to see the way he treats her when the rest of us guys aren’t around. Although, I have to say, he kind of hit the nail right on the head, because he accused her of wanting to be with me instead of him (which becomes more and more true by the hour), and accused her of cheating on him with me (which wasn’t true). It kind of freaked me out as we sat there in the park alternately holding each other and just talking back and forth. I would have sworn that he knew what was going on (though, really, he just isn’t that smart). Shera thought it was hilarious because she knew he had nothing to base it on besides goofy things, like, "You were standing too close to him in the TV cage," (referring to her saying, "I want that TV"…..completely innocent…for once). Eventually, though, the whole thing ended up with her and I spending the better part of six hours together that day. And we couldn’t even keep from breaking the only rule I set for us: No physical contact beyond what was already acceptable as long as she and Augie were together.
Yep, broke that one in lesser ways pretty quick. The holding each other for extended periods of time kind of ruined that one. And if I had a dollar for everytime she said, "This is nice…" I’d have roughly ten dollars. And at one point, it started raining. We were sitting under a shelter on a picnic table just holding each other, and I said something to the effect of, "This is so romantic that it almost makes me want to puke." She laughed really hard at that one, as did I. I brought up the age thing, because if I let myself really think about it, it does bother the everlovin’ shit outta me. But even though there’s an eight year numerical gap there (I’m 26, she’s 18…….yeah, I know), the maturity gap is hardly even noticeable. If anything, I’d swear she’s more mature than I am. And, to take her words, "We just fit together." And she’s right. There are enough differences in our similarities to make it interesting. We have quite a few of the same interests. We even have some of the same mental things going on. For instance, we’re both incredibly paranoid. At one point, we both thought this was all some elaborate ruse being played on the other. She thought Augie was using me to test her (which he wouldn’t be smart enough to set up, given that there is the huge variable of whether or not she’d actually be interested in me), and I was convinced she was just fucking with my mind….or using me to make Augie jealous, or something like that. I mean, it was just……..I don’t even know what word I want to use here……..amazing, I guess?………that we would be thinking the same thing like that (and she brought it up first, so I know she wasn’t just agreeing with me).
Towards the end of the six hours together on Friday, we broke the physical contact rule in a big way by kissing. And even if Augie is my friend, I didn’t feel a bit guilty about it, because as I knew it, she was about to go dump him. Speaking of which, I did tell Shera that there’s no way we can just jump into something (though perhaps it’s too late to say so) just as soon as she lets go of Augie. It sucks too, because I know part of her still wants to go back to him. Because in the end, she gave him a week to change all the things he does to her. Which I thought was hilarious, because they aren’t things that can be changed in a year, let alone a week. They’re significant personality things. But she gave him a week. That night, she called me around midnight to tell me what all happened. She absolutely told him off. She told him that she knew he was cheating on her (fact), that he had been mentally abusing her (fact), that he was only interested in her when he was horny (fact….so she says), that he never listened to her (fact), and all kinds of other shit. She found strength in her that she had forgotten about. And she took pleasure in belittling him so much, too. Which I found funny, of course. It tells me she’s made up her mind regardless of what kind of changes he does manage to make (though she hasn’t completely yet).
Saturday morning, she called and woke me up at around ten (just as she had promised me). We proceeded to talk to each other for roughly five hours straight, only ending because I had to go get myself ready to go to the football game last night (NFL season is back! WOOOOO!). And what did I do as soon as I got home? Of course….I called her pretty much immediately. Thus ensued about another five or six hours of conversation. During that I learned the reasons why she’s so mature at her age, and just generally why she is the way she is. She told me she didn’t trust the whole "me and her" thing because she was afraid I would hurt her, or that she would hurt me. I told her the ease of it all scared the shit out of me, but that even if I did end up hurt in the end, it would be completely worth it. It always is. And she agreed with me. Since we talked so long last night, she ended up not getting any sleep at all, because she had to be awake to get ready for work at 3:15 AM. Since then, she’s called me roughly four times (I think): When she got to work, on her first break, on her second break, and (right after I started typing this) during her lunch break. And in a few hours, we’re going to see a movie or some such thing. So this is turning into lightspeed. And it scares me. But I’m not sure I care about that. Like she said on Friday…….we fit.
Anyway… More to come eventually.
Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox: "You" and "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin (I haven’t listened to anything besides Phobia in days….so excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse meeeeee)
Sayonara.