Death and Rebirth

Shocking, huh?

However…

It was inevitable.  It’s something I’ve been considering doing for a really long time, actually.  I had to make a change with this thing…start anew.  Citizen Dave got to have a really long run, but it’s over.  Really, it’s been over for a long time, hence why the change has been coming on for so long.  So I had to do something tangible with this thing to show it.  The person who made all those entries under the name Citizen Dave just doesn’t resemble me anymore.  That person had hopes and dreams (scattered as they may have been).  I’m just a shell who lives merely to pass time.  If nothing else, perhaps I can see this as a form of closure.

Of course, it won’t be nearly enough to provide me a full sense of closure to that part of my life…I’m not sure there’s any one thing that could do that.  Sure, I have ideas of what could do it…I’ve always had ideas.  It’s just that most of those ideas are, A) infeasible, B) unlikely, or C) just plain suck.  So I have to take what I can and use it to my percieved advantage.

I guess what I’m saying is merely this:  I haven’t been the same person for a long ass time now.  This here diary is just now getting the makeover it’s needed since then.

Now then…

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A sharp memory and an overactive imagination are never, EVER a good combination.  I’ve said before that these things are a curse on my soul.  In certain situations things things both just get cranked up and going without any prompting from me at all.  They just go.  And, of course, I’m powerless to stop them.  Perhaps that’s part of my problem.  I have no idea how to control parts of my own psyche.  Not the faintest clue.  These things get going and rage out of control for a matter of days, then aren’t heard from again until the time arises again for them to do so.  I mean, what the fuck ever happened to letting go?  Does anyone know?

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  “Nymphetamine (Overdose)” by Cradle of Filth, “Run” by Snow Patrol, and the Opening Theme of Azumanga Daioh

Back to this whole thing about reinvention, restarting, rebooting, whatever the fuck you want to call it…

It’s going to be a work in progress for the next little while.  There’s a lot to work out as far as final title of the diary, what to do with the main page, and what’s likely to be the ever changing color theme.  The whole lime green and black thing has been with me since the beginning, so forgive me if I change around the colors a lot trying to settle on something new.

And no, I will not start referring to myself as “Kiryu.”  If it was my name, I would.  My name’s still Dave, my diary just isn’t named after me anymore.  Why Kiryu?  It’s a cool name, and comes from a kick ass monster (Mechagodzilla, version 3, circa. 2002 and 2003).  Seemed like a good choice.  But the point here is just that I’ll still be referring to myself as Dave.  Because that part is still me.  It’s all about persona.  “Citizen Dave” was a persona of sorts, as “Kiryu” may turn into.  It’s all a work in progress.

I’m devastated that the hockey season didn’t start on time Wednesday night.  A national day of mourning should’ve been declared.  Fucking greedy players and dumbassed, overspending owners.  Get your shit together and fucking play some hockey!  (What?  Me?  Bitter?)

At work, our team of people is shrinking like mad.  There were about 15 people or so on it when I got there.  After the goings on of Tuesday, there are now only about 7 of us.  Three have quit, two have been fired, and three have been promoted.  We’ve gotten only one replacement part so far, with two more soon to follow before we get thrown into total chaos in about three weeks.  At that point, there will be about 60 people on the team.  Though, I’m still kind of hoping I won’t be there to see it all.  I hate it less than before, but that doesn’t mean I like it.  It’s been much less busy lately, thanks to school being back in session fully and Christmas not quite being here yet, but I expect to be busy as a muh’fucker come mid-November.  I just wonder how many people in America still need a damn computer.  It can’t be too many…can it?

And thus, I am finished.

Sayonara.