Blinded by the Light

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

At this point, I don’t really know what it is, though.  Perhaps it’s a good future.  But it could just as easily be a train waiting to run me over as I stand there staring at it, dumbfounded.  Or, just maybe, it’s a little bit of both.  I’m not sure how that could be possible in reality, but in my life, it’s becoming exactly that.

First of all…the future……

I had a job interview today.  Yeah, that’s right, I’ve finally become so sick of Sears that I’m really putting something behind it and trying to leave.  Quite actively.  It’ll be back to work in a call center, which I said I’d never do again, but this ain’t Dell, and this ain’t sales.  I’d be handling calls from existing customers for Comcast.  Much nicer, methinks.  Well, not the people, but that’s not what I mean.  Irate assholes, I can tolerate.  Selling old ladies more computer than they need by confusing them, I can’t.  It’d be a good job.  Nice pay, nice benefits, even free cable and internet.  Not to mention some stability as I pursue what has become the reality-based version of "the dream."  And what would that be?  That would be working for the state in some capacity.  Truthfully, it’s about the only thing my degree is suited for.  And there are some really nice sounding jobs that I could get in for.  So, about once a month, I apply to the state of Tennessee for several jobs (which reminds me….it’s about that time again).  No job has more stability than a state job.  Pay is good, benefits are top-notch, and job security is second to none (you pretty much have the job until you die or retire, whichever comes first).  So that’s where I’m headed on that front.

Then there’s the train…

As usual, the train is named Shera.  I’ve stopped whining to her (mostly due to certain revelations that I’m not even going to begin to go into at this time because I think I’m the only person on earth that can make sense of them besides her…..which happens with us a lot).  And my ceased whining has helped out a lot.  It’s been a few weeks since I even felt the need to say a cross word to or about her.  And I shouldn’t want to now.  But I do.  She spent her entire weekend practically bed-ridden with a sinus infection.  Even missed school Monday (though she needed me to tell her it was okay to skip out and go to the doctor early instead….much as with calling out of work on Saturday morning).  It was the dizzy spells that was getting her.  She couldn’t trust herself to drive.  Today, thankfully, she made it to school just fine.  In fact, she’s feeling well enough to go to the Disturbed-Flyleaf-Stone Sour-Nonpoint concert with Clint tonight (yes, there are reasons I was not asked to go, the two most obvious being that Clint was sitting there as the free tickets were offered, but also because I get "my night" on Thursday when we go to TPAC to see a version of "A Christmas Carol"…..anything other than those would be just abject speculation on my part).  I have no objection to this in itself.  I told her I didn’t care who she went with as long as she had a good time, contrary to what she believed (she thought I didn’t want her to go just because Clint was going, which had nothing to do with it……..I was far more worried about her health, but I suppose that was too hard to believe).  Only reason I’ve gotten bent out of shape was over something trivial.  I asked her to tell me if she decided to go or not, but only found out when she texted me to tell me that Nonpoint just got off the stage and was not good.  Anyway…I guess what I’m getting at is that it sometimes just kills me to be told how much I’m loved and needed, but to have it rarely displayed to me.  Don’t get me wrong….there’s nothing quite like being told by someone you love that they love you very much, and that they need you, and that they couldn’t function without you.  But it’s something else altogether when that just, apparantly, isn’t enough.

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  "Droppin’ Plates" by Disturbed (this song has been driving me nuts for two days, just constantly rotating in my head), "Alive and Kicking" by Nonpoint, and "Everything" by Alanis Morissette (bless you, Clerks II….bless you)

The job interview went quite well today, by the way.  I completely failed to mention that.  I go back in a couple weeks to interview with an actual supervisor to make sure they really want me there.  If I don’t fuck that up, I should be good…….because we all know the background check and drug test will come up virginal.  Just wanted to throw all that in there.  Can’t believe I didn’t mention it the first time.  Duh, I says.

Cranberry Splash Sierra Mist isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds.  I would almost call it good.  But not quite.

As I alluded to earlier, I did indeed buy and watch Clerks II this evening.  It just keeps getting better.  Though, I suppose, there’s all kinds of other stuff attached to it now.  Implied meanings and connections for myself and such.  There’s still nothing funnier than "Pillowpants" though.  Not by a long shot.  And there’s little hotter than Rosario Dawson’s Becky.

But I guess that about does it for me.  I’ve got a few more hours to kill before I fall asleep on the couch, and I need to get to figuring out how to spend ’em.

Sayonara.