Aural Fixation

It’s actually time for an entry about myself.  Inner things…..or, at the very least…..things I wonder about.  Been some time since I did one of these.  Strange, huh?  Well…maybe not.  I dunno.  Anyway.  Lemme just start instead of continuing to ramble on and on and on.

I don’t know what it is about me that makes me so trustworthy to others.  If it was time spent getting to know me, I could understand that.  But I am (and really always have been) the type of person people will tell just about anything to.  I can sit and talk to someone for a half an hour and have them telling me some of their secrets.  I think it’s because I just let them talk most of the time.  In a "proper" conversation, I usually don’t offer much in the way of insight or opinion………or really just much in the way of words, period.  Take today, for instance.  It may not count too much because we’ve talked at decent length the past couple of months, but in the course of an hour today, I had one of the department managers at work telling me all kinds of personal stuff and things that could get her fired if they got out.  She was telling me about her period and how it has changed over the years, and how she got her tubes tied to try and alleviate some of the trouble her period can cause her (which it didn’t, in case you were wondering).  She told me how she put her job on the line to get certain people raises and promotions (things that people aren’t supposed to know about).  All this started in response to me asking her how her back was feeling today (she hurt it before I left town last week) right as I was about to leave her office.  So the two minute conversation quickly became the hour long conversation.  Of course, I told her some stuff about work that doesn’t need to get around (like how I abhor the new Hardware manager….what an incompetent dickhole).  And I even told her how I really didn’t like her at all for quite a while.  Since we get along so well now, she was surprised to hear it.  I told her the story behind it and she actually bothered to apologize for it (nevermind it was like 14 months ago, and things are, as I said, completely different now).  I guess what got me the most was that, during all this, she told me that she trusts me with all this kind of "sensitive information."

So again I ask…….  What is it about me that makes me so trustworthy to others?  I’m starting to think that it’s just that I’m willing to listen to people.  It’s amazing how far that can go.  People will start spilling anything out to you if they realize you’re actually interested in learning or, at least, listening.  And, hey, it looks like I just answered my own question.  How’s ’bout that.

Nevermind the ultimate irony of me trusting pretty much no one…

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  "Loveless" by Kittie, "Dirthouse" by Static-X, and "Through the Iris" by 10 Years

Psychic moment of the day:  Just a little while ago, I was futzing around on GameFAQs.com and eBay all at once while listening to a 35 song random playlist when I suddenly started humming the opening of "Stricken" by Disturbed.  Mere seconds later, that was the song that started playing.  That was a nice, "Holy shit!" moment.

Why is it that serious romantic dialogue always sounds cheesy to me?  It’s especially bad if I write it, but it isn’t just my own.  Of course, my own bothers me a lot more than someone else’s.  So what is it about that kind of talking that just comes off as entirely cheesy?  I have trouble writing heartfelt romantic stuff like that because it always comes out sounding contrived.  And I always find myself thinking "who the fuck would say something like this?" or "nobody talks like this…….what the hell am I thinking with this crap?"  Maybe it’s just me.  In fact, I bet it is just me.  I crack up laughing at some of the most serious parts of movies because of this specific kind of dialogue.  It just strikes me as terribly cheesy and forced.  I think my problem is that I look too much for realism in my cinematic romances.  In real life, romance is much more often clunky, awkward, and hard than it is perfect, sweet, and eloquent.  But, again……..maybe that’s just me.

The Operations Manager job is still sitting wide open at work.  I’ve often said I lack some of the personality traits required to be a department manager at Sears, but I’m starting to think I could do it.  Sure, the customer service part of it would suck just as much as I fear it would, but the rest of it would be not too bad.  Not to mention the raise it would bring.  I just have to say that I really like working at this particular store.  Everybody likes me and appreciates me there.  I have friends there.  For the most part, the working enviornment is positive.  I just think that maybe it’s time I took at stab at something like this….just to see what I’m capable of doing.

Anywho…  I think it’s time for Dave to go to bed.  I’m just tired.  I didn’t get to sleep in my own bed again last night because my mom asked me to spend the night at her house becasue she was feeling pretty ill (turns out she was okay…..even made her flight to Spokane, WA this morning).  So there’s another night of little sleeping.  At least maybe now I can put a string of nights together.  That’d be nice.

Sayonara.