An Atlas Sized Shrug

Such a great relief…  I can’t really describe it so well without sounding just utterly heartless, which, goddammit, I know I am not.  So I’ll just be plain about it…

My burden has lifted itself off my shoulders.  I am now 100% without roommate.  Shera has taken it upon herself to just go ahead and move out.  I didn’t even find it out until I got home from work earlier tonight (as it is about 1:39 AM as I type).  I noticed something was different.  Then I saw her bedroom door shut, but knew her car wasn’t parked outside.  Then I noticed there was no longer any decoration on her door.  Then I placed what was missing:  she had boxes of stuff setting in the living room floor against the wall, under the windows…and they were gone.  So I looked in the bedroom to find…………..nothing but a bed with some trinkets on it.  Everything else was gone.

And an indescribably huge smile crept across my face.  I literally felt a weight lift off my shoulders.  This was the best thing that could’ve happened to me today, I think.  Not to say other good things didn’t happen, but this was by far the best.  Now I don’t have to set ultimatums, or just kick her out.  I don’t have to suffer through making myself insane because of her.  Now I can just be free…  And it’s a glorious feeling.  I realize I shouldn’t be reveling quite this much, as this whole arrangement was my own idea in the first place, but, as I told Shera a couple hours ago, this was the best thing for us both.  And, speaking purely for myself here, we’re done.  Completely.  She may not know that yet, but I don’t really plan on talking to her anymore.  I always kind of told myself the day she moved out would be the day it was all over for us, and, obviously, today was that day.

Considering I hadn’t heard from her or seen her in going on two weeks….I was not at all surprised by this tonight.  Not in the least.  I was only a little disappointed that I was given absolutely zero warning.  It was like she was just trying to do this stealthily, without disturbing me at all.  Which is fine.  Just fucking tell me, y’know?  Common fucking courtesy.  But whatever.  I’m happy.  That’s all I can say.  And it has to do with much more than just Shera leaving.  That’s just the part most people around me will be happiest to hear about.  She made me miserable…and I made myself miserable because of her.  I had already started breaking out of that over the past few weeks.  Now I can shatter it altogether.

And the other reason has a name.  But….I’m going about it all very cautiously, which I have explained to her.  So I’ll wait on discussing all that, so as not to jinx anything as yet.  Because we all know I’m super-superstitious about such things.  Because I’m an idiot that way.

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  "Perfectly Flawed" by Otep (fucking amazing song), "Already Over" by Red, and "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al

Perhaps not so coincidentally, there was already a plan to replace Shera as my roommate in motion.  It’s going to involve me moving into the bedroom she’s vacating (it’s the bigger one) and, by year’s end, having C.J. (that’s my younger brother, to the uninitiated) move in here with me when his lease runs out in Murfreesboro.  It’s going to be best for him, and it’s going to give me a roommate I know I can get along with, and one I know will pay me their part of everything.  Awesome how that works out, isn’t it?

I literally just can’t wait to spread the news around to what few friends I have left.  They’re going to be just as ecstatic on my behalf.  Most of them have never really liked her at all anyway.  So, yeah….thrilled, they’ll be.  I’m really kind of digging how life is now swinging back in my direction after trying so hard to shit all over me most of October.  Toughing out the hard times is always paid back in the end.  And I’m starting to reap a benefit or two.

That’s about all I got right now.  Until later…….

Sayonara.