A Sometimes Livable Scenario
Sound the trumpets for my triumphant return!
…..
…..
::crickets chirping::
…..
Okay, fine. So no trumpets. I guess I should expect anything special after two months with no posting. What can I say? I was without internet from the time I moved until just a few days ago. So that’s like a month and a half right there. Nevermind that it was simply my own laziness that prevented me from having internet. That’s not the point here. Because much like some others close to me, I wish to totally overlook my own short-comings and blame everything on something else. And so I have. Now, to proceed…
As I mentioned, I did make the move to a new apartment at the beginning of July. Pretty much from Day 1, it has been anything and everything but a smooth ride. And if I was a third as smart as I always claim, I would’ve known it would be like that. But, since I’m an idiot, I was expecting something different than what I got. Because what I got was being ignored, a lot. And treated as though I wasn’t really there, a lot. And taken advantage of, a lot. And so on, and so forth……a lot. And I know it was because I created the whole mess for myself. If it wasn’t for me wanting to do anything I could possibly think of to make Shera happy, none of this ever would have happened. That’s where this whole "moving in together" enterprise came from. That was back when her happiness mattered more to me than anything else in this life. Of course, she’s had a hand in ending that by treating me like shit for weeks, but it still creeps up from time to time. And, to be completely honest…..having the internet back has helped me cope. Does that seem odd to anyone else?
But, lately, we seem to have come to something of an understanding. Or we’re at least at a point where we can live with how things are with each other. I’ve laid out for her how I’ve been able to predict each and every step of her relationship with her new boyfriend (she wasted no time……literally less than two weeks after Clint was gone, she was with Chris, which I also predicted would happen). That pissed her off because she thought it was me saying I didn’t think it was a real relationship (which I don’t…..but God help you if you tell her that). I explained it to her that it was just me showing off how well I know her (and it was that, too). She then urged me to give him a chance and stop hating him, to which I responded that she mistakes me base jealousy for hatred. Because I don’t hate Chris. I don’t know him at all, so I can’t hate him. But I’m insanely jealous of him because he has what I want……which, however retarded it makes me, is Her. And so she knows this now, as I told her so in those words. So she’s making more of an effort with me now to keep me included in things. Or, to translate, she actually talks to me now, even if he’s here (which is often……I had to explain to her how hard that is for me, which I had thought was a no-brainer, but sometimes with her, she can’t see things until they’re laid out in front of her). And through all this, I’ve had the list of people who think I’m an idiot grow. That’s what talking about your personal life at work gets you.
Anyway….that’s enough of that. Moving on…
The person I’ve become closest to at work is Kenya. I think I’ve mentioned her before, but I’ll give a short refresher anyway. She was moved to the Help Desk and given a trial there at the same time I was, but she didn’t get to stay (she was one of the only three let go back to the floor). We talked a little bit while she was there, but since she went back to her old team, we’ve talked a ton. Multiple times, she has told me she’d be my girlfriend if she wasn’t married, which is an awesome confidence booster, because she’s ridiculously hot. And when was the last time you heard of a really hot black chick wanting a skinny, white, nerdy guy? Of course, even if she weren’t married, there would be the, um, complication (I guess?) of her having three children. Because we all know I hate kids. But anyway…. Of late, she’s been coming to me as kind of a confidante and a therapist. Her husband (who she actually just let come back home about three months ago after kicking him out for a year for cheating on her) is being a complete and utter ass again. So she came up with some guidelines and ran them past me. The problem is that she wants to keep him around so the kids can have their father with them…….but she can’t stand him. She doesn’t love him at all, she’s repulsed if he ever tries to touch her in any way, and he’s a financial burden on the family. So my message to her has been simple on this one: at some point, you have to factor your own happiness into the equation somewhere. And, yes, I realize I need to take my own fucking advice at some point. I’m really good at telling other people to do things that I don’t always do. Sue me. Anyway… If I had a point here, I think it was that I really like Kenya, and I get this…..I don’t want to say "nagging feeling," but that’s the only word I can think of here….that it possibly could go somewhere. But to think of such is dangerous, of course, because, like every other female I’m interested in at all these days…..she’s taken.
Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox: "Pin Up" by Evans Blue, "Over and Over" by Three Days Grace, and "Hey Pretty" by Poe
Just yesterday, I went and visited my little brother in Murfreesboro and robbed him blind so that he could buy an Xbox 360 (nevermind that he can barely pay his bills most months). I paid him $160 dollars and came home with: a PSP (retail value $170), Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology (retail value $40), Radiata Stories (retail value $20), a strategy guide for Radiata Stories (retail value $15), a Transformers figure of Rodimus Prime (which he got from work for free), and a Ninja Gaiden Sigma t-shirt (which he also got free from work). So, yeah. Like I said, I robbed him blind, I think. Good news was, though, that he didn’t spend a penny of his own money to get the 360. So I can’t really say anything. And I barely spent any of my own money on all this, because just last week my grandpa bought my old window unit air conditioner off me for $100 (despite my telling him he could just have it…he insisted on paying me for it). So, all in all, a damn fine value for me.
I’m sure there’s much more I could talk about from these past few months, but I think I’m just gonna end it up here for now and call it "an update." Yet again I say…sue me. Time to go be a nerd s’more!
Sayonara.