Nostalgia

Sitting here listening to 90’s Country music really brings back some crazy memories.

Today isn’t a great day, but it’s not a bad day. It’s more “alright”. The music is definitely helping it to be better, oddly enough. I haven’t wanted to sing along to music in some time, so to be able to sit here and sing Country and not have a worry at this moment… feels good.

“L” is supposed to be home tomorrow from her vacation. She messaged me tonight, but mostly because she wanted to reply to what I said the other day.

The last two weeks she has been with her bf. She would reply once a day to any message I sent her. Well, I found out the other day she was messaging a mutual friend of ours a lot the last few days. So I took a cheap shot and sent her “I’m glad you and “N” have been talking more..”. I left it at that. That was the only message I sent the last 3 days.

Idk, I feel like she doesn’t want her bf to know just how much we talk, and how open / comfortable we are around each other. Oh well. Not my problem anymore. I’m over it. I’m positive there is no way our friendship will sustain this. Which sucks, cause she is a great friend.. and we have a lot in common with our “Mental Health” and such.. but if you can’t talk to me because of you’re bf, then I don’t need you in my life. I’m not going to deal with only talking when it’s convenient for him.

In other news, I haven’t had an anxiety attack in a few days. So that is a plus. Tonight has been a weird night. Maybe it’s cause I don’t feel like complete shit for the first time in awhile? Weird.

I really need to cut my fucking hair. Tomorrow maybe? We’ll see..