Tomorrow’s Just Another Day

And tomorrow I start student teaching.

*ducks and covers*

SO SCARED!!!!!!!!!!

Not really…just…ugh. I’m not feeling super. I think I did too many miles this week. I…kinda trippled my mileage from last week.

But anyway.

Thanks.

I really appreciate all the love and support. And I’m SO sorry if anyone has been worrying due to my lack of update since that last outburst.

So…after saving that entry I went in to my bedroom where the BF was sleeping…I…was still crying…and so I woke him up…because Beth told me I had to. She said to go try…and give him a chance to be that guy that will come through for me…and if he didn’t, I could come over. So I tried.

I woke him up.

And…he was perfect.

He wasn’t mad, wasn’t frustrated, wasn’t upset…he just wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back and whispered that it would all be ok. He just…held me….for like an hour…until I stopped crying. He just kept telling me over and over and over again that everything was ok.

At one point I apologized to him and told him he didn’t deserve someone breaking down on him like this…and he goes "You deserve someone who cares. And that someone is me."

So….yeah. He’s pretty great.

So…last week…meetings. *gag* HOWEVER, I had my last day on campus!!! I don’t have to go back until I GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to Kim for helping me celebrate that. 🙂

Then tomorrow I start student teaching…or rather observing excessivly and trying to get through the next 14 weeks without murdering a kid or bursting in to tears in front of them.

In more exciting news, rockin 7 miler yesterday….

But excuse me while I go back to the mush.

Jana, appreciate the mush. 😉

So.

Yesterday the BF was home for lunch and asked me how I felt about moving closer to the beach. Apparently there’s a small chance he may be moved to a different location for work…and was wondering how I felt about it.

But…he apparently wants me to come too. 🙂

Have I mentioned he’s awesome?

He didn’t just TELL me it might happen…he ASKED how I felt…and ASKED if I would come too. He CARES. He wants my OPINION. He wants to know what I’m THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So…yeah. I’d move for him. It’s probably not going to happen, but just the fact he included me in the possibility…he THOUGHT about ME….yeah. Awesome. But even if he does move, he’d be going in a few weeks and I wouldn’t go till May…so…whatev. I’m not worried about it. Just excited to be included…hehe.

So…last night…I was kinda sleepy…and we were joking around and I wasn’t really fully thinking…and I said "I love you…." Actually what I said was "I love yu…UH OH" and turned bright red. I had been making a sentance somewhere along the lines of "I love you even though you’re retarded" but um….yeah.

So…for the last 24 hours he’s been going "You LOOOOOVE me. You LOOOOOOOOOOVE me."

He also…apparently has heard me say that…when I THOUGHT he was sleeping…so Trace, if you ever read this…yeah. I did that. And you caught me.

He also caught me in another sneak attack. I sometimes will tell the dog I love him…which I do totally love the dog…but…sometimes I say "I love you" to the dog, and mean it to Trace. So…again….if you ever read this…you win. Again. And you suck for that.

So…yeah. Those words are kinda…scary to both of us. He’s only told one person that…and apparently when he says it….it means he’s super serious. He told me he normally feels it a lot sooner than he says it. Like…knows after a month or so if he loves the person but doesn’t tell them for another 5-6 months.

And…I hate saying it first.

And I kinda did I guess.

But…not…intentionally yet.

I’m…still thinking about it. Because I hate saying it first.

But anyway. I’m going to work on lesson plans and sleep….

And trying to keep my big mouth shut.