The 4th According To My Town

So…I live in a small, small town. And here is our schedule of events for tomorrow’s festivities.

7:00am – 5k Registration (Dudley’s Landing)
8am – 5k Race (Dudley’s Landing)
10am – Family Bike Rodeo
10:30 – 12noon – “Kids Time” Pony Rides/Airbrush Tattoos/Inflatables
11:30am – Karaoke Registration
12noon – Dog Show
12-7pm – Inflatables, Music, Food and Crafts
(Climbing Wall, Carmen the caterpillar, Moonwalk, Giant Slide and a MECHANICAL BULL)
1-2:45pm – Karaoke ($250 1st Place Winner)
3pm – Sam, Danny and Steve
3:30pm – Carilion Lifeguard Helicopter
4pm-“Elvis”
5pm – The Java Brothers (Blue Grass)
6pm – National Anthem – Ms. Amanda Shepheard /Mayor Tom Starnes/ Dr. Harshberger Patriotic Readings
6:15pm – “Greater Love”
7:15 – 8:45pm – JIMMY FORTUNE
9:00pm– Karaoke Finals
9:30pm – Fireworks

So let’s review, shall we?

Notice the Climbing Wall, MECHANICAL BULL etc. Starts at noon. And at 3:30 the medic helicopter makes an appearance. Methinks they planned ahead.

But then if we back up a bit, we notice at 10am there is a "Family Bike Rodeo". I do NOT know what that is…but I think that sounds like it will require medical attention.

Moving on. Karaoke starts at 1pm. Ends at NINE. Does ANYONE see an issue with this?!?!!?

And my favorite. Please see the 3pm slot.

Sam, Danny, and Steve.

I. Do not have the slightest clue as to who those people are…nor do I want to venture a guess as to what they will be doing to entertain the….20 people who have survived 3 karaoke filled hours.

And I’m not even touching "Greater Love"

I’m showing up around 8:30 to stake out a spot for fireworks. With an ipod and some soundproofing ear buds.

Happy 4th!