Quick Review

Ok.

So…as of this Friday I will be DONE with 2 of the 3 classes I’m in…so you can imagine just how busy I am. And I have THREE pet sitting jobs. And meetings. And Doctor’s appointments.

Add on to that still being sick/paranoid.

Honestly at this point it’s mostly all in my head…but it’s not a logical fear. Nor is it one I can just easily shake. I can’t just flip a switch and not be freaked out by the thought of throwing up or getting the stomach flu. I realize it’s a part of life, I realize it happens to everyone, and I realize it’s a stupid fear. But…it doesn’t mean I can make it go away.

Hence the therapist and psychaitrist.

Basically, I worry about my stomach, I worry about the "what if’s", I worry about touching other people, I worry about food, I worry about pretty much touching anything in public. It’s really almost a paralyzing fear and I REALIZE how insane it is…and the only reason I’m putting it in here because the more I talk about it the easier it is to deal with. Regardless of the stupidity of the fear, it’s still there. It all basically stems from being sick for those 4 months. I really thought I was going to die and now anything stomach-related scares me.

But I’m working on it.

Anyway.

So I got drugs…at first I didn’t like the Zoloft…but they tell me that it will make me calm and make the freaking-outish thoughts be less frequent. I’m all for that.

And the Ambien has been a trip.

First night I took one. It worked decently…but I still woke up, however I was groggy and went right back to sleep.

Second night I took two.

And wooooooooooo what a night. Apparently it made me VERY loopy. I called Stephen to say good-night and then after that apparently I called Kim, Doug, Beth, and I think I called Stephen back…and texted Laura a lot.

Doug said my voicemail was slurred and retarded and I talked about rainbow colored pig noses and being BEHIND my bed…which isn’t possible because it’s shoved up against a wall and weighs a ton. And I went on and on and on….until his voicemail cut me off.

Kim, whom I actually talked to, is welcome to put her own input in here…but from what I gather I asked her the same thing over and over and over and over. I asked her if she was home, she’d say no, I’d ask her where she was, and she’d say work, and I’d ask her if she was at home…..and I think she got rainbow pig noses too.

Anyway.

So then the NEXT night I took one Ambien and the Zoloft for the first time.

NOT pretty. I had 4 mild panic attacks. It was absurd. I felt like CRAP the next day. So….didn’t go to school yesterday. Took a Xanax around 7am, laid down on the couch, and woke up at 12 feeling WAY better. I even went out and did errands without freaking out.

I also had a mild panic attack in Target Sunday.

Anyway. So last night I took 2 Ambien. Slept pretty good until 4am. I took the Ambien around 8:30….so that was 8 hours exactly.

I think tonight I’m going to take one around 8 or 8:30….then another around 9:30 right before I really try to go to sleep. And the Zoloft. Supposedly that will take up to a month to kick in. Also….it can make me fat. Awesome

In other awesomely fun news: I’m getting my hair cut today!!! So excited.

Other thoughts…I am going to try and work out with my trainer tomorrow…and then as soon as I’m better start training for the half-marathon.

Ok, gonna go be a good student now…I’ve got to finish my Curriculum Planning Guide, Lesson Plans, Syllabus, Evaluation Methods, Units of Instruction, and Instructional Calendar by Friday.

Did I mention this is a semester long course shoved in to THREE weeks!?!?!? Yeah.

Things to look forward to: Being FREE Tuesdays and Thursdays from friday on (Kim, pool? River? Wii?). Beach Trip with Beth for a weekend….and JIMMY BUFFETT IN AUGUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Love everyone, sorry if no notes. Next week guys. Next week.